i'm trying to take your advice...

i am. it's not going very well at the moment, i'm afraid. but i'll keep trying...

 

(that was such a fun night, too...)

So Much Awesome In Only 52 (or so) Hours

i believe i'll bullet-point the weekend for convenience's sake, so here we go. all this for $10 and a tank of gas...

• friday i found out i won tickets to the incredible burt wonderstone through a friend's website. (if you don't know drew, and are a fan of magic and/or theatricality, go here.) this meant i got to get out of my house (for free!) and catch up with some old friends. the movie was actually much better than i expected, i met some cool new people, and i may have made a tutoring connection. excellent all-around evening.

• saturday morning i worked, as usual. but because one of my students cancelled, i got out an hour early and had time to take a nap.  i picked up c around 6 and we headed out to melbourne for a st. patrick's day street party. we scored rock star parking (for only $5 - which is seriously impressive if you're used to living in orlando) and headed over. it was a typical small-town street party: not terribly exciting, but rife with outstanding people-watching opportunities. and people with monumental mustaches. 

• the whole point of traveling to melbourne, of course, was to see cowboy mouth. if you don't know my love for this band, well, clearly we've not met. and you don't read this blog. they put on one of the best live shows you'll ever see. and they delivered, as usual. which is extra amazing when you consider that they just played d.c. 10 hours earlier to kick off the rock and roll marathon. so they were clearly tired and road-weary and all the rest, and still kicked ass. i wasn't sure what to expect crowd-wise, but there were several fans there, so that was cool. also, because the stage was tiny and we were up front (because where else would i be?), we were thisclose to the band - which made for even more interaction than usual. so much awesome. cm shows are such a catharsis, and since the past month or so has been one big ball of stress, i was overdue for a good release. 

• sometime saturday i learned via twitter that neil gaiman and amanda palmer were trying to do a ninja gig somewhere in sarasota on sunday. this is just over 2 hours away from me, and i waffled back and forth for hours sunday morning. do i go? can i really justify two road trips in one weekend? i mean, my little car is the most awesome piece of vehicular machinery ever (no hyperbole; just truth), but it is getting older and i hate adding to its stress. finally, i decided that if i didn't go, i'd probably regret it. and i was right. the show was at 2 at ringling college, and i figured i should probably leave at 11. after all the back-and-forthing with myself, i ended up leaving around 11:30. traffic was going well and i was feeling confident i'd arrive with enough time to figure out where on the campus i was going, when i4 came to a dead stop. absolute parking lot. for about 45 minutes. eventually it cleared, and i hurried on, afraid i'd miss the show. i arrived about 35 minutes late, just as neil began reading a selection. there's something innately magical about listening to an author read his own work to a spell-bound crowd. i'm sure the fact that it was neil gaiman reading only intensified the effect. afterward, he and amanda took questions from the crowd, which ranged from, "can you help me repair a friendship i messed up?" to "do you guys have to deal with carpel tunnel?" the conversation between them and the crowd went from inspirational to silly to philosophical and was lovely. i was interested (and pleased) to note that when amanda asked the audience, "who feels like they are doing what they are meant to do?", i found my self raising my hand and (more importantly) believing it. i may barely be making ends meet, and i may not be doing ALL of what i'm meant to, but i'm certainly doing some good. q & a ended, amanda sang a fantastic song about the power of the ukulele and, much too soon, it was all over. afterward, there was a group photo - with ukuleles, clearly - and i even got a selfie with neil. i totally had a (mostly internal) fangirl-like moment, which is SO not me, but it happened. his works have had a great impact on my life, from the first Death comic a friend gave me when i was a teenager, to his novels that make me think and question, to the short stories i once taught my 9th graders at CHS. and so i squee'd inside for a good hour afterward (and out loud in my car once for good measure). 

• one of the most unexpected and excellent things that came of this gig happened at the book table. amanda encouraged a book swap, so i found 6 books - mostly from my old classroom library - to go on to better lives. one of these books was dealing with dragons by patricia c. wrede. as the books tumbled out of my bag to join the others on the table, the girl next to me let out a gasp and touched dealing with dragons reverently. "i haven't read this since i was a kid! oh, cimorene..." "it's yours," i said. "done. take it." i could tell by the look on her face that she had just been reunited with a childhood best friend. it was heartwarming to see her reaction, to know that others are just as deeply affected by a stranger's words as i am. i loved seeing someone react to a book the way i would react to seeing a ramona quimby, age 8 or so you want to be a wizard. and i'm so glad i was able to give that reunion to her, because i know what it would've meant to me. (and now i've got to go find another copy of that book; truth be told, i don't think i'd ever actually read it, and seeing the reaction it garnered? definitely deserves a perusal.)

• after all that, i decided to head to a beach. i was right on the coast, after all, and shorelines are my grounding places. so i went and i walked and i breathed; and then i shook the sand off my feet and put my chucks back on and went home. 

so that was my weekend. random and joyous and unexpected, and so very much what i needed. i did end up with a narrow - but very angry - strip of sunburn on my neck from the i4 incident. it's not pretty, and i'm just hoping it doesn't blister. but that's insignificant. (at least to the weekend, if not to my skin.) my pile of good stuff far outweighed my pile of bad stuff, and i am very, very grateful for it.

Throwing It All Away (Or Trying To)

"With the time I waste on the life I never had
I could've turned myself into a better man"
- toad the wet sprocket, "throw it all away"

I worked a party a couple weeks ago with a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend, and had already set her sights on a guy who works in the complex with us. and while I personally don't work that way, I undersstand the view point: that's over so it's time to move on. or as she said, "I just wasted two years of my life on someone who can't be bothered anymore. why should I waste anymore time on it?" and for whatever reason, at that moment it resonated with me. I've essentially wasted two years of my life mourning the loss of a future with a man who, contrary to previous actions, apparently decided I wasn't important enough to say goodbye to. and while I obviously needed the time to heal - and am still working on it - I can't keep letting my soul be damaged by someone who clearly wanted to be out of my life. damage has been done, I have to live with it and work through it, but I don't have to let it continue to scar me. I'm trying to open myself to possibilities around me. do I believe anything will work out? or even happen at all? I don't know. I'm not sure I believe I get to have a successful relationship or be happy. and yes, I know it's depressing and a sad viewpoint to have, but I have only my past to look at and the evidence seems to speak for itself. and I'm not sure I'd even be prepared for anything to actually happen. but I suppose the fact that I'm willing to see says something, right? well, we'll see I guess...

This Song Makes Me Feel Better About Life

also, my friends rock. literally.





(go check them out here. and go buy a cd!)

A Little Musical Wisdom

You remember there's more than this
There always was and always is
Tend the artist in your charges, you are full invested

Rise up your dead

There's life in the old girl yet

-indigo girls

p.s. do yourself a favor and create a "cowboy mouth" station on pandora. even if you don't know who they are. especially if you don't know. it is a most awesome station... trust me.

FMF FTW!

the past thursday, friday, and saturday nights found me in downtown orlando bouncing from venue to venue for the florida music festival. great live music, bad band names (arnon armoth, anyone?), good friends, fantastic people-watching opportunities... all in all an amazing 3 days.

we all know i'm a live-music junkie as it is, so what better way to spend some time than watching some old favorites and discovering awesome new (well, new to me) bands?

people who don't suck:

(click on the name, and it will take you to a video...)

minus the bear

easy star all-stars

thomas wynn and the believers

tayler buono (not bad for a 17-year-old...)

the lighter exchange (featuring a friend who is also frontman for agr)

big 10-4

and of course, better than ezra. because you just gotta love kevin and the band. they're big fat dorks who happen to be excellent musicians. and they like getting up on a stage and playing with the audience. for example, as seen below: "if you have any troubles with fast-moving stuff, like flashing lights or strobes, and it makes you dizzy or you fall down... you might want to avert your eyes from my fretboard, because what you're about to see might just blow your mind!" (you may want to turn the sound down a bit - it's not the best quality. but still entertaining to watch...)

Quote of the Day

via amy, who is an elementary music teacher:

from kindergarten... upon hearing that we'd be singing/ reading the book "Puff the Magic Dragon" again, little girl says to her neighbor... Puff the Magic Dragon! That's my JAM!

pure awesomeness.

Drowned

tim minchin is my new current obsession... he's brilliant and funny and talented - not a combination you find very often anymore. i've been listening and watching and downloading everything i can find; i stumbled across this and the beauty (and the fact that it cuts close) brought tears to my eyes. (this is just the audio - and a random still... but worth listening to.)

Brilliant Lyrics (and a Really Cute Video)

"we get on" by kate nash... this is about halfway through the song. LOVE these friends...

So I went to that party
everyone they were kind of arty
And I was wearing this dress
'cause I wanted to impress
But I wasn't sure if I look my best
'cause I was so nervous
But I carried on regardless
strutting through each room
trying to find you

And when I saw you kissing that girl
My heart, it shattered
and my eyes, they watered
and when I tried to speak I stu-uttered

And my friends were like "Whatever,
you'll find someone better,
his eyes are way too close together
and we never even liked him from the start.
And now he's with that tart,
and I heard she'd done some really nasty stuff
down in the park with Michael.
He said she's easy
and if your guy's with someone that's sleazy
then he ain't worth your time
cause you deserve a real nice guy"

So I proceeded to get drunk and to cry

I locked myself in the toilets for the entire night

love it. i looked for a video to attach, and found this - totally cute. enjoy.

Man, I Love This Song... And This Version

further proof that bob dylan is a brilliant, brilliant poet, but should let other, more qualified people do the singing...

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

Nothing that I wouldn't do

Go to the ends of the earth for you

To make you feel my love...

What, What, WHAT??

c has just informed me - and i went to the website to confirm it - that steven page is "parting company" with the rest of the barenaked ladies. i don't know how to feel about this. i mean, obviously i'm kinda upset about it; but the rest of them are going back into the studio in a few months to record some new stuff, so that's good, right? but is steve going to be in orlando with everyone else when i see them next weekend? i hope so... and i'd like to think he'd like to do one more show with them before bowing out. eeks...

and is it wrong of me to be glad that if it's anyone, it's steve and not ed?

Do I Really Have To Graduate, Or Can I Just Stay Here?

while listening to o-rock's online station (which is the only way you can listen to the good music now, since the programming jerks decided to make it another generic "we play everything" station), the song "i love college" by asher roth came on. i am thoroughly amused by this song. lyrics are here, and the video is just below. lyrical highlights (at least in my book):

i wanna go to college for the rest of my life

sip banker's club and drink miller lite

on thirsty thursday and tuesday night ice

and i can get pizza a dollar a slice

i miss dollar-a-slice pizza. not so much the other stuff, but it's still a really amusing song...

Life is a Mix Tape, Part 3: The Singles

"there are millions of songs in the world, and millions of ways to connect them into mixes. making the connections is part of the fun of being a fan." -rob sheffield

delving again into my musical memories... this time i'm posting songs that remind me of particular mix tapes/cd's/playlists and what went on around them.

4 "right here, right now" by jesus jones: this was on a random mix tape i made from the radio - you know, where you sat by your radio/tape deck, just waiting for one of your favorite songs to come on so you could hit "record".... and hoping the dj didn't talk over any of the good parts? i rediscovered this tape in college, just before we took arkansas bear on the road. not knowing what was on it (it was only labeled "fun and 80's"), i took it with us on the trip. at some point we popped the tape into the university van we were driving and had a great time singing and laughing and discussing the songs on the tape. this song was on that tape - and not the crappy radio edit either, the actual album version. for some unknown reason, some record label jerk apparently decided that they needed to shave another 15 seconds from an already-barely-three-minute-song and take out a small guitar solo. there are also slight variances in the backing beats - i'm not sure what they are exactly, but i can recognize the difference. i caught this particular version one late night (or early morning) when i was sick and couldn't sleep. i was downstairs in the rocking chair listening to the radio when this came on and i hit "record". it was the first time i'd heard this version, and it was somehow better than the normally-heard-on-the-radio version.

4 "tell me lies" by fleetwood mac: this song was actually not on the tape, but the radio dj had put this on immediately following "right here, right now." so although i pressed stop before the song really started, i still got the first 4 notes of this song - and apparently i listened to this tape enough that this transition is indelibly inscribed on my brain; i didn't even realize this until just now, when i played jesus jones, and the opening notes to "tell me lies" immediately popped up in my head.

4"unchained melody" by the righteous brothers: this song was also on that mix tape, though i'm not really sure what possessed me to tape this, but i'm guessing it probably has something to do with the movie ghost and its soundtrack. (that's my story, anyway, and i'm sticking to it.) i reached to ff through this song (we're still on that theatre trip, remember?) because i didn't really like it, when my hand was slapped away by craig - who then, along with the rest of the boys in our van, proceeded to sing the worst, off-key, caterwauling rendition of this song ever. on purpose. i was crying with laughter (and probably a burst ear drum) by the time they finished.

4 "it's a sunshine day" by the brady bunch: the next couple of songs were on a tape labeled "for drama" - it was just a tape i kept a bunch of songs on that i was using for drama class. this one was for a group pantomime: me, amanda, amber, mistey, paul, mike i think, and there had to be another boy, but i don't remember (someone help me out here?) decided to be the brady kids and alice going out for a picnic. we packed up a station wagon, ate and played games, then drove back home. it was a pretty awesome pantomime, if i remember correctly. (and i think i do.)

4 "summer breeze" by seals & croft: this actually wasn't my song - i think it was amanda's for her solo pantomime, because i associate it with her for some reason. i must have enjoyed the song enough to put it on a tape. or maybe we all rehearsed together or something, it's hard to tell...

4 "thirteen o'clock" from the labyrinth soundtrack: i used this one for my solo pantomime - i was a magician putting on a show. i wish i could have found it to add to the playlist, because it really is an excellent piece of music, but alas, instrumental music seems hard to find on the interwebs. anyway, the piece is now imbedded in my brain with the music... i could probably still do (most) of the 3 minute routine i made up for that assignment...

4"land of make believe" from the blast! soundtrack: this (and the next one) was from a cd i made while at disney titled "happy stuff". this is probably my favorite piece from the show, because it's just pure fun. plus steve was entertaining, and it was hysterical to watch kit making fun of him behind his back and then not tell him what he was doing. (the version in the playlist below isn't from blast - so it's not quite as good, and shorter - but this way you get the idea.)

4"hit me with your best shot" by pat benetar: this reminds me of candace (well, clearly - it's pat benetar) and also of that same summer. cristi and i, along with candace, rhonda, or whoever else we could drag with us, would often head over to epcot after work. i'm not sure why this particular song - maybe we started singing it randomly or something?

4"walk like an egyptian" by the bangles: this is from a mix tape made from the radio when i was in elementary school(ish). i remember - i'm thinking third grade, but i'm not sure - either amber or dawn bringing their portable boombox (and yes, they were called boomboxes, shush) and we would listen to it at recess. we were obsessed with this song for awhile, creating our own dances and music videos until we had to go back to class.

4 "kokomo" by the beach boys: same tape - i remember discovering the cocktail soundtrack... not such a great movie, but it's a kick-ass soundtrack. we even sang this in music class in the sixth grade, and i remember being confused about the words not being quite right. turns out the school board thought (probably correctly) that elementary school students shouldn't be singing about a "tropical contact high."

4"lollipop" by the chordettes: yep, still on the elementary-era tape. i have no idea why, but for some reason, this reminds me of being over at amy's house. did we sing this? dunno, but that's what pops in my head.

4 "the addams family theme" : in what? sixth grade? maybe fifth? somewhere in there, we did a jazz dance to this song that included big black boxes, white gloves, fushia sequins, and florescent polka-dotted bike shorts. awww, yeah.

4 "pennsylvania 65000" by the glen miller orchestra: also on the "for dance recitals" tape. this was earlier, i think... maybe fourth or fifth? not sure, but some of the footwork is still in my head, because it goes so well with the music.

4 "i alone" by live: this is from a high school mix tape, and always brings to mind the dreaded "who's on first" conversation when i called home from school to ask mom if i could go to a live concert that night with gretchen, her dad, and her brother. live wasn't very big yet so we went round and round till i finally shouted, "no! the name of the band is live! of course the concert is live, but that's their name!" mom and i still laugh about this.

4 "fat bottomed girls" by queen: i do love the queen, and forced them upon my friends. luckily, they mostly didn't mind. this song particularly reminds me of a gathering up at tricia's. me, trish, sarah, gretchen, possibly fedan, kenny, probably some of the boys - scott, bill, etc. - i don't remember exactly, but i remember having a cook out and a few of us ending up fully clothed in a pool.... clearly a result of said boys...

8 note: the quote at the beginning of this blog is from the book love is a mix tape by rob sheffield - a brilliant memoir of life and love by a contributing editor of rolling stone. it's lovely and sad and inspiring and funny and real, and why have you not gone out and bought it yet? go!

more mixed-tape goodness...

(i'm not sure why, but the playlist is not working for some reason... it WAS, but now it is not. so if you'd like to hear the songs, go here.)

Thanks, Speedy God (And Other Misheard Things)

mondegreen: (n) a word or phrase resulting from a misinterpretation of a word or phrase that has been heard. Origin: 1954; coined by Sylvia Wright, U.S. writer, from the line "laid him on the green," interpreted as Lady Mondegreen, in a Scottish ballad

when ramona quimby (of the beverly cleary books) was learning the "star spangled banner" in school, she thought she had learned new vocabulary words. she asked her parents to turn on the "dawnzer," meaning the lamp. they were confused. ramona explained that it gave "lee light". beezus, her older sister, burst out laughing as she realized what ramona meant: instead of "the dawn's early light," ramona had heard "the dawnzer's lee light."

we've all been a victim of this at some point in our lives. i mentioned "la isla bonita" in the previous blog; and though i am well aware that the words are, "last night i dreamt of san pedro," i still hear "some bagels" to this day. when i was little and sitting in church, i tried to say the responses as best i could, although since i couldn't yet read, i just had to go by what i heard. the actual words said after a reading from the bible are "thanks be to god," but at 3 or 4, what i heard was, "thanks, speedy god." i thought we were thanking him for a quick reading so we could get on to the rest of mass. (hey, when you're a little kid, an hour-long mass goes on forever.)

remember that (bad) chumbawumba song, tubthumping? (they did actually have better songs, but that was the only one that caught on over here.) anyway, the song happened to come on during a gathering in college, and i remember a friend of tony's singing along, "i get knocked down, but i'm an opera fan!" after the hysterical laughter, we told him the actual words. he admitted that he thought "opera fan" didn't make much sense, but then neither did the rest of the song, so who was he to question?

there are the classics of course: "excuse me while i kiss this guy" instead of "the sky"; "blinded by the light's" "rolled up like a douchebag" (it's "revved up like a deuce"); several sections in "it's the end of the world (as we know it)" and "we didn't start the fire"; and - probably my favorite - "there's a bathroom on the right" instead of "bad moon on the rise". one of my friends, as a kid, thought "she's got a ticket to ride," was actually "she's got a chicken to hide." that would have been an interesting video...

NYE in D.C. - A Photo Essay (Part 2 - The Freaks Come Out at Night)

the evening was in full swing. most of the party-goers had arrived, and if their behavior was any indication, i'd say most of them had drunk themselves into oblivion before setting foot downstairs. c and i wandered into the comedy room because i needed to sit for a while, and seating was extremely limited. we watched a couple of sets; the first comic we saw was quite funny (and i'm totally stealing two of his bits), but the second one just wasn't funny. we left the room and took the cheesy "official" photo - complete with bad cruise ship staircase background. we also took one with (a cardboard cutout of) obama, but unfortunately it didn't come out well. sad... ah, well. then we went back into the main ballroom, snagged another drink, and decided to people watch. we both love people-watching, and trust me when i say that this was one the best opportunities to do so, possibly ever.

typical non-creative heavy drinkers
the official website - as well as dc 101, the radio station that sponsored it - claimed that the event drew a "mid-to-late-twenties to mid-thirties" crowd. however, i think they lied. there were an awful lot of college kids and newly 21-year-olds there, and while that is fine and all, it just drastically changes the atmosphere; hence, all the drunken fools who couldn't walk straight even though it was only 10 pm. fun to watch, not as fun to interact with. ah, well. there were some seriously interesting people to watch, so it wasn't a total loss. because drunk college students? yeah, they do all sorts of ridiculous, embarrasing, and stupid things. like drink so much that you puke all over the floor in the middle of the hallway. (luckily i didn't witness this - unfortunately, c got that honor.) or being so oblitterated that you (a guy) try to use the women's restroom, can't understand why you're being yelled at to leave, and then fall over and can't get up so that a host of police officers and security have to go in and drag your ass out. (at least he was very cooperative and amiable. and he was hot, which was unfortunate, because the drunken stupidity totally cancelled it out.) or getting your long gown caught on the escalator and having several security and maintenance workers trying to free you without ruining your dress or making you naked. (hi, common sense: if you have a full-length skirt, you have to lift it up while on an escalator. not hard and plus they had people reminding girls of that on all floors.) there were lots of girls who clearly had not attempted moving, sitting, or even breathing in their dress before purchasing and wearing in public. either boobs were popping out while dancing, asses were hanging out, or things simply did not fit well. just... eeks. did no one teach these girls to twist, move, jump, and dance around in a dress before purchasing? because there were also the girls that clearly weren't comfortable - oh, they looked amazing, but they spent the evening standing stoically, carful not to wrinkle, bend, or take deep breaths, because they couldn't. i promise, ladies, it's possible to look awesome AND be comfortable. you should try it next time.

midnight balloon drop - we weren't here

meanwhile, it was coming up to midnight. c and i made the executive decision to stay outside the main ballroom instead of rushing in to be squished next a couple thousand drunken strangers just to watch a bunch of balloons drop. like i said, new year's is just not that big a deal for me, and besides, we were sitting down in a prime-people-watching spot. plus c's killer black and gold stillettos were starting to, well, kill her. it should be mentioned at this point that no matter how much pain c was in, she did not take her shoes off. i mean, we've all been guilty of it at one time or another, but you just don't walk barefoot around a hotel when there are open bars and people puking. you just don't take that risk. by midnight, i'd estimate that about a third of all the girls attending had taken off their shoes and were now lurching about with them in one hand and a drink in the other. there was a plethora of snagged tights and pantyhose, and these girls just didn't care anymore. some took them off and tossed them in the garbage, some continued to wear the tattered garments; one girl (and c witnessed this) had her shoes off, stepped in the puke from the previously-mentioned yakker, then - instead of immediately taking them off and scrubbing the first layer of skin from her feet - she simply ripped the bottom of the hose and rolled them up so that she had dipped-in-puke flesh-colored leggings. EW.

last thing in this installment, courtesy of c: the last-chance hook-up bathroom trolling. i swear i'm not making this up. aparently, this is the thing to do if you are a guy who, by the end of the night, has not found a girl drunk enough to sleep with you:

step one: hang out outside the women's restroom.
step two: evaluate each emerging female based on drunkeness.

step three: when you find one sufficiently intoxicated (stumbling is a good indicator) approach her casually, making it look as though you just happen to be passing by. if she's appropriated schnockered, i'm sure she won't remember seeing you on her way in.

step four: proceed to hit on her, making sure to lean on her so you can remain upright.

step five: if she is willing, lead her back to your hotel room upstairs. (and let's hope you have a hotel room, because you should really not be driving)

step six: if she is unwilling, walk away from her, mutter some choice expletives, and resume with step one.

seriously. c saw it happening while i was still rocking out with cowboy mouth, and once she pointed it out, i saw it for myself. yikes.

hopefully, most people stayed at the hotel...

NYE in D.C. - A Photo Essay (Part 1 - It Starts)

i usually don’t make a big deal out of new year’s eve; mostly, this is because new year’s (much like my birthday) seems destined to suck. also, I have found that my personal new year’s eve seems to be Oct. 31 – for whatever reason, that’s when my year-long cycle seems to end, ready to start again on Nov. 1. but this year was different, and thank heavens for that. my friend c came up to visit me and we decided to go to d.c.’s official “downtown celebration” event. It was a little pricey, but it included open bars, food, a chance to dress in a theme, and – most importantly – cowboy mouth.

first up: costume design. the official dress code was “creative black tie”; they equated this to what you might wear to the mtv music awards – formal, but funkiness was encouraged. no problem. c and I headed out to the malls and such in search of appropriately fabulous attire. We weren’t exactly sure what we were looking for… we figured maybe an ethnic theme, like Chinese or Indian, or a period theme, like 20’s or 50’s. after combing potomic mills (the nation’s largest outlet mall), we found ourselves at a loss. we really didn’t want to spend a lot, and we also didn’t want cookie-cutter formal wear. then we stumbled across a random kiosk in the middle of the mall. a lovely woman of indeterminate asian decent was selling a mix of Chinese and middle eastern clothing and accessories. c found a lovely read Chinese dress, and I found a fantastical black scarf-like thingie with bright pink embroidery and sequins. and so we had our themes: c’s was “asian” and mine became “bollywood.” c found a pair of kick-ass black and gold heels, gold jewelry, and a sparkly red flower to wear in her hair. oh, and a fan (hey, we're all about props). i found a pink corset, long black skirt, and silver jewelry. we were set.

c, the asian princess me in my bollywood finery

a creative jacket choice (the only)

of course, we were two of only four people (out of a few thousand) who new how to interpret "creative black tie." everyone else was wearing general mall-bought cocktail-wear. i mean, there were a few really fabulous formal dresses and some equally fantabulous shoes, but for the most part, it was a sea of unimaginative party-goers. (sidebar: while there were several amazing shoe choices, not one of the girls who chose them could walk in them. they all walked around like truck drivers, or like first-time stilt-walkers, or 5-year-olds playing dress up in their mother's shoes. just disgraceful. it's not that hard, people. and if you can't walk in them, don't wear them, the end.) so we stuck out, but it's not like we're not used to that. it was a good kind of sticking-out, anyway, because people came up to us all night, telling us how awesome we looked and how hot we were. always good for the ego...

a pre-party starbucks (note the wristband)

apparently - and we've noticed this before - when c and i are out in public together, we seem to attract the freaks. seriously, it's like we both have one-half of a neon sign that says "come talk to us, freaky people!" that combines and lights up when we're together. it's like the bad wonder-twin power. it started in line. when we arrived downtown and parked, we found ourselves almost two (nyc) blocks away. seeing as it was below freezing, and we were wearing skirts and heels, we took a cab to the hyatt. yes, my friends, we were those people. we entered the hotel, picked up our event tickets, went through the registration - where they proceeded to brand us with a florescent orange wristband (really? it's black tie and you're just going to ruin the effect with day-glo jewelry?) - and had a pre-party starbucks before we were let in. as 8:30 approached, we went to stand in (a ridiculously long) line to head down the escalator to the main party areas. enter becky.

becky was a pert little 23-year-old who had obviously been to a very generous pre-party. she started by telling us how hot we looked and how no one else was as creative as us (well, duh), and insinuated herself in line with us. of course, she hadn't gotten her wristband yet, so she needed to be in another line altogether, but it took a while to convince her of that. becky had apparently come with some neighbors of hers, and although she was technically there with a guy, she had somehow found him lacking and had ditched him. before they had even gotten in to the party. we lost her as we went downstairs and she had to get her

wristband, but she appeared behind us in line for the coat check. she then - rambling drunkenly - proceeded to follow us around while we were checking out the venues. there was a sports bar/karaoke bar, a ballroom set up to be a club, a comedy room, and the stage venue where cowboy mouth and two other bands would perform. set up in both the stage and club areas were buffets of nibbly things, and bars were set up throughout the three (yes, three) levels of the hotel that were being used. halfway through the club area, and heading into our second drinks, we somehow lost becky, and i can't say that i was that sad about it. i mean, she was completely entertaining at first, but after a while, it kinda felt like my annoying little sister had decided to tag along. anyway, with that presence gone, we decided to hit the food tables and chow down.

to be continued....

c and becky, in line

Thoughts, Questions, and Comments After Weekend Shopping

1. if you are in the nations largest outlet mall, and it's the weekend before christmas, you do NOT get to pull out your cellphone and attempt to text someone while slowing your pace to that of a snail on quaaludes. either put the phone away, move to the side out of the flow of traffic, or learn to multitask for pete's sake.

2. i'm pretty sure i lost several i.q. points while browsing in forever 21, just from the music. if you are using the phrase, "your dress looks like a silhouette," mayhap you don't actually know what the word "silhouette" means. look it up. or keep some people around you with an intelligence level above 60 so that they can tell you when you sound like an idiot. oh, and for the record, i find it hard to believe that you care overmuch about her "impressive intellect" when the chorus tells us that you want to park the car and go "porn-style". really? several i.q. points frittered away...

3. and while we're on the topic of music, is it really necessary to have a disco/funk version of "sleigh ride" with someone trying his very best (and failing) to be james brown?

4. also (same theme) what possesses you to make a dance/hip-hop version of "santa claus is coming to town" complete with a rap at the bridge that rhymes "snow" with "fo' sho?" eeks.

5. question: how did salt n peppa get away with "push it" in the late 80's? i mean, it's pretty impressive, really. how did that not get censored off the airways? a current katy perry song has an entire line or two (awkwardly) edited out so that it doesn't mention "pms" or "bitch" on pop radio, but back then they somehow got away with lines like "the music's pumpin' hard like i wish you was," and "get up on dick"... i know they said the line was, "get up on this," but we all know better. those ladies had some pretty big cojones.

6. if you decide to take your ten year old son shopping, please consider that there may be things that are not appropriate for him. for example, taking him into a store and making him carry your chosen selection of frilly underwear, lace bras, and leopard print cami/thong sets so that your hands are free to browse - probably not the most responsible thing to do. i'm just saying.

7. okay, back to christmas music. can someone explain to me how "favorite things" became a "christmas classic"? it's a song that, in the sound of music, is used to calm the children because their country is being invaded by nazis and the world is going to shit around them. HOW does this relate to christmas exactly?

8. ikea has excellent mashed potatoes. i had to stop by and get some stuffed ferrets for the mayzie-dog for christmas (her current ferret, though she still loves it, has no stuffing and only one paw left), and decided to also get dinner. it was a good decision on my part.

9. i tried the lingonberry juice with my taters and baguette. it was quite tasty, actually. it vaguely reminded me of something - something from my childhood, but it was just vague enough to remain out of reach. even so, it was a delicious surprise.

10. i am having issues with shoes for new years. c is coming up and we're going to the official "downtown countdown," which i'm very excited for (largely because cowboy mouth is involved), and we are actively trying to put together our outfits for the night. clearly, i want to rock some kick-ass heels. the problem is this: ever since i became broken, i can't wear heels for a long period of time. and it's not like my feet just get a little sore; that i could (can, have, and would) deal with. what happens, though, is that the pain becomes literally crippling. it very quickly gets to the point where it hurts to even take a few steps, then eventually my ankles will join in on the fun and start weakening, and then my feet will start cramping in earnest. this is not cute or fun. and i fully intend on jumping up and down and dancing like a fool the entire time cowboy mouth is on the stage. "so just wear flats," i hear you saying. and yes, flats will solve the problem, but here's the thing: there are NO FABULOUS FLATS. sure, there are cute ones, but cute doesn't cut it for a formal, "creative black-tie" dress code. at least not for me. cute is not kick-ass, fabulous, or even fantastic - and i can't ring in the new year in less-than-fantastic shoes... that's like going against everything i stand for. hence my conundrum. sigh.

11. silver and gold metallic pleather hot shorts... are these really necessary to sell?

12. while shopping in dress barn (and finding some very cute things for myself and others), i stumbled across two of the most hideous christmas sweaters EVER. we're talking beading and sequins and crocheted appliques and everything. i mean, they were just AWFUL. it was awesome. they were 60% off, and i really debated buying one of them. it's not often you get a chance to own something that horrendous for less than $15. i may actually go back and get one before i go home on wednesday...

Really?

one of the local stations (the one that ate o-rock, which used to be my default radio station) is apparently already playing christmas music 24/7.  really, people?  it's not even thanksgiving yet - that's just ridiculous.

Life Is a Mix Tape, Part 2: The Albums

"tonight, i feel like my whole body is made out of memories. i'm a mix tape, a cassette that's been rewound so many times you can hear the fingerprints smudged on the tape."

-rob sheffield

sometimes one song just isn’t enough; sometimes a whole album is tied to a memory. hearing any song from that album will bring me back, but it also works the other way, too. i may randomly think of something that happened and then really want to listen to the album that accompanies it. (the playlist at the bottom has selections from each of the albums.)
8 dark side of the moon – pink floyd: besides being an excellent album on its own, this cd is tied to my freshman year in college. we would often put this on at night, on repeat, to sleep to. funny side note: i recently re-bought this album because it had been lost or stolen long ago. i popped it into the cd player and about two songs in, i found myself getting sleepy. talk about your pavlovian responses.
8 sublime – sublime: college, theatre department parties, jono and greyton’s house. jono and greyton were roommates and theatre students a year ahead of me. they had the best house for parties – two stories, sprawling wrap-around porch, and neighbors who were either not very close to the house, or at every party anyway, so they didn’t mind the noise. it was also at the top of a hill (mountain, really) and though it sucked to get up there in the winter, it was a very zen-like area with woods on two sides of the house. every single party started the same way; once enough party-goers had arrived, the “circle of death” table was set up with a pitcher and a few decks of cards, a few joints were rolled, the keg tapped, and this album put on. usually there were a few discs in the changer that rotated around, but this album we listened to straight through, beginning to end, before switching the music. those were good times – i don’t have a single bad or even boring memories from those parties. (note to my mom, in case you’re reading this: i had nothing to do with the pot – that was all jono and greyton, i promise. i stuck to the drinking games and laughing at the fools that couldn't hold their liquor.)
8 when i woke – rusted root: senior year of high school and freshman year of college. rusted root is a folk-funk-hippie-accoustic-fusion band from pittsburgh. because morgantown was only a hour or so away, they used to play every thursday night at the nyabinghy dance hall. (memo to me: there needs to be an entire blog dedicated to the ‘binghy at some point…) because we knew a few of the bouncers – or, more accurately, because i knew a few people who knew a few bouncers – we were let in even though we were underage. we only ever came to see root, and we didn’t try to drink any alcohol while we were there, so mostly they let us get away with it. new year’s eve 1995 found john, dale, and i at the annual root show in pittsburgh, and then at a party at a friend of dale’s sister’s. it was a fun night, even though i spent large chunks of the party making sure the stoners weren’t feeding marijuana to the friend’s parents’ great dane.
8 discography – pet shop boys: i’m not sure why, but this album played non-stop throughout my sophomore year in college. it seemed like whenever john, dale, melinda, and i were in a car together, this album was playing. it didn’t matter whose car, because we all had a copy. it was the default bgm to our wanderings.
8 greatest hits – bob marley: i would like to preface this by saying i love bob marley – quite a lot, actually. however, since it was one of the very few cd’s we could agree on in adventure ocean (the kids' center) on the serenade, we listened to it a lot. incessantly. over and over and over. rob was the worst offender; he always put it on, and we always seemed to work together. it finally got to the point where i took it out of the cd changer and hid it for a couple of weeks.
8 fear – toad the wet sprocket: sophomore and junior year of college. ferruso and i listened to this all the time. it’s another cd that became default bgm. mostly, though, it reminds me of the puppeteers of america festival in ohio. this and an “awesome eighties” cd were in heavy rotation that weekend. we met famous artists and puppeteers, we got rave reviews for a performance we slapped together for a cabaret night, i sliced open my thumb with a stolen outback steak knife whilst carving a coconut out of a nerf ball, we got through some of the lamer performances by loading our travel mugs with zima and sour candy (we couldn’t find any jolly ranchers on short notice), and we met all kinds of fantastically random people just by playing uno in the downstairs lobby. excellent times.
8 play – moby: for a month and a half, while i worked at disney and lived in clermont, this cd was stuck in the player of my car. i couldn’t fish it out and i couldn’t afford to get it fixed. the player was stuck; i couldn’t turn it off, i couldn’t change the volume or the track, and i couldn’t switch it back to the radio. it’s a really, really good thing that this was the cd that got stuck. (and that it was at a decent volume, come to think of it.) it’s one of the (like 5) albums i have no trouble listening to straight through, and it’s a testament to the quality of this album that i never got sick of it and that it remains one of my all-time favorites.
8 elephunk - black eyed peas:splendour of the seas, the sob (that’s the staff and officer bar, thank you). there are many different types of people working on ships: people of different nationalities, from different walks of life, who speak many different languages. it’s no surprise, then, that there was some dispute over the music to be played in the sob at night. for whatever reason, this album was the one everyone agreed on, so it was played almost every night squished somewhere between the british punk rock, romanian trance, and morroccan pop music (most of which i quite liked, actually…).

8 the lion king soundtrack: this is pretty self-explanatory, unless you don’t know about my stint performing at disney. i did both lolk (legend of the lion king) and folk (festival of the…) from the summer of ‘98 till the summer of ’03. legend closed in 2002 (to make way for a 3-d movie – great planning, eisner; way to take away the most popular attraction in the park), but i continued doing shows at folk till i was (wrongly) fired in ’03. (i got my job back… eventually. that’ll have to be a blog at some point, too.) anyway, due to the fact that i heard the soundtrack on a daily basis (at least 9 shows a day at legend, 4 at festival) it is permanently ingrained in my head, along with all corresponding choreography. everytime i hear the songs, i see the choreography in my head; because i knew 5 tracks (roles) at legend, i participated in every scene at some point. i’m pretty sure, given a stage and the appropriate puppets, i could still do either show pretty well, including things i was never trained in. it’s also my curse; the lion king soundtrack follows me. wherever i go, it’ll pop up to annoy me. true stories: 1. we were in skagway, alaska, and headed into a shopping center to get lunch at one of the cafes. as we walked through, “can you feel the love tonight” by elton john came over the loud speakers. really? alaska? and 2. in vegas, rob and i walked into the first casino to “circle of life”. jeez, people, let me have a vacation! there are many more instances, but i’ve done my best to block them out.
8note: the quote at the beginning of this blog is from the book love is a mix tape by rob sheffield - a brilliant memoir of life and love by a contributing editor of rolling stone. it's lovely and sad and inspiring and funny and real, and i'm going to keep bugging you until you go read it.

new mix tape:

Best. Videos. Ever.

this is an audience-participation blog. i know there are lots of awesome videos out there, but as I have had cable only a few years here and there, there are obviously going to be some that i don’t know. so i’m just going to start with three of my favorites, and leave the rest up to you. please leave a comment including the song and artist, a link to the video if you have it, and – most importantly – tell me why it’s so brilliant. i will compile a final list and post it in a later blog.

the first three, in no particular order….

buddy holly – weezer…. this is just brilliant. great concept, great editing... just plain fun.

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you can call me al – paul simon… such a simple idea, really: two guys, a bunch of musical instruments, and the non-singer lip-syncing. simple, but fantastic.

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thriller – michael jackson... ok, this is a classic, so i'm sure i don't have to explain to you why it's on here - first of its kind, revolutionized music videos, blah blah blah... plus dancing zombies! and vincent price rapping! i was a young dancer when this video came out, and i remember watching a copy of this over and over (till we wore it out) so that we could learn all the dance moves...

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so what would you add to this list? comment, let me know, and i'll post them!