There Can Be Only One

I borrowed a ridiculous amount of DVDs from Eric - a bunch of tv series with which to occupy my time. (side note: I started with "Eli stone", which I don't think I'd even heard of before, and fell in love with it. it was a brilliant series even though it was only one for two very short seasons.) I am currently watching season 1 of "highlander: the series", which I watched and liked in the early 90's - and oh, how very early 90's it is. the layer of cheese is so thick, it's fantastically valveeta-y. a couple of thoughts, which i will continue to add to as i continue to watch:

• I forgot just how beautiful a man Adrian Paul was. or is. with bone structure like that, I'm sure he's aged really well.
• I learned through imdb that he was actually a dancer and choreographer before coming to the us. which makes sense - he's a graceful man.
• I don't think I actually saw season one - or not to the point I'm at now. I remember the writing and storylines to be fairly decent... but as of now, the writing is... not so much. the directing is super cheesy - overly dramatic music at dramatic moments, long close-up shots on pensive faces before commercial breaks, the whole 9 yards. it's also very clear at the beginning that both Duncan and Connor realize that Ritchie could be an immortal - a fact I never realized; I remember being shocked when he didn't die after he and tess are killed. so I'm thinking I never saw the start.
• oh, the technology! just 20 years ago, and huge brick cell phones - which two whole people own at this time. and the computer systems! or lack thereof. I just watched an episode where a guy actually had photo enhancing software - that took all night to scan and use. and the terminal screen was black with white ms dos scripts running on it. how fantastically primitive it seems because we've come so far so fast.
• I really love Tess as a character. she could easily be weak, but right from the start she's portrayed as strong and resilient, which is cool in a show where most of the strong leads are men. especially for 20 years ago.
• it hurts my head that high school was 20 years ago. EARLY high school, but high school nonetheless.
• a feature of the DVD that absolutely cracks me up is the scene selections for each episode. you can choose from 5 different parts of the episode, OR - if there's an immortal death involved - you can select the "Q" and go straight to the kill shot and the quickening - excellent low-budget electricity fx, for the win!
• oh, the guest stars and their inability to act. vanity, anyone?
• mid-way through season one, and I remember this episode. or parts of it. this may well have been where I came into the series...

The Most Beautiful Shoes in the World

birthday shoes: they are a tradition for me. the shoes don't have to be expensive, but they SHOULD be festive and maybe a little flashy. last month, my bgbff informed me that my 40th birthday pressie would be laboutins - 40, partly because it's a milestone, and partly because it's clearly going to take 5 years to save up the ridiculous amount of money that they cost. bored one night, i decided to look up laboutin's current seasonal offerings, just to see what was what. and that's when i discovered these magical shoes, which were clearly thought of, designed, and made specifically for me:

aren't they magnificent? now, as you may or may not know, christian laboutin sells his shoes for roughly $3000 a pop. yep, 3 thousand. but then during an image search - so that i could find a better picture of these lovelies - i discovered this site, which claims to sell REAL laboutins for only $188. there are 2 possible logical conclusions here: either a) they are fake ("slaboutins", as amy calls them), or 2) some obscure russian mafia member had to kill off someone's grandma and smuggle these out of the factory. truth is, i'm not sure sure i care either way. i mean, DID YOU SEE THE SHOES??? they are magical and good, and NEED to be part of my wardrobe. (they will then be known as my "faux dragon" shoes, thanks to a convo with rob.) so if anyone out there wants to buy me some magical birthday shoes (HI, MOM!), you should go HERE. and since the site says they'll be delivered within 7 days, if you order tomorrow (size 39 or 39.5 EU, please), they should be here in time for me to wear to benihana's on the 20th.

just trying to be helpful...

FMF FTW!

the past thursday, friday, and saturday nights found me in downtown orlando bouncing from venue to venue for the florida music festival. great live music, bad band names (arnon armoth, anyone?), good friends, fantastic people-watching opportunities... all in all an amazing 3 days.

we all know i'm a live-music junkie as it is, so what better way to spend some time than watching some old favorites and discovering awesome new (well, new to me) bands?

people who don't suck:

(click on the name, and it will take you to a video...)

minus the bear

easy star all-stars

thomas wynn and the believers

tayler buono (not bad for a 17-year-old...)

the lighter exchange (featuring a friend who is also frontman for agr)

big 10-4

and of course, better than ezra. because you just gotta love kevin and the band. they're big fat dorks who happen to be excellent musicians. and they like getting up on a stage and playing with the audience. for example, as seen below: "if you have any troubles with fast-moving stuff, like flashing lights or strobes, and it makes you dizzy or you fall down... you might want to avert your eyes from my fretboard, because what you're about to see might just blow your mind!" (you may want to turn the sound down a bit - it's not the best quality. but still entertaining to watch...)

My Mother, Who Got Me Into This Business...

my mom called the other day to discuss this post, even though it had strict parental guidelines - as in, if you are my parent, you may not want to hear this stuff. convo went like this:

mom: so i read your entry-thingie you had posted on facebook, even though you said for me and rob not to...

me: it was just a "fair warning" kind of thing. i don't care if you read it.

mom: good, because i did. do you really feel this way?

me: which part?

mom: like you don't want a relationship at all?

me: absolutely. i'm am so beyond be able to trust someone and myself in that situation. can't do it.

mom: and you won't just sleep with someone... like one night stands or anything?

me: um, no. is this conversation going to make me uncomfortable soon?

mom: no, i'm just checking. you said you had morals. and you do. this is good, it means i raised you right. i'm glad you turned out that way - i did teach you something.

me: (starting to laugh) well, this IS all about you.

mom: of course it is! i don't want to have to say, "this is karen, my ho."

me: (snickering) well, i don't think you can call me your ho unless you're my pimp. in which case you'd be getting a percentage...

mom: nice. would it be enough to quit my job and live off you?

yep, we really have these conversations... :o)

What Would Happen If Ray Bradbury, David Bowie, Ayn Rand, and Metallica Got Together and Made a Book

i have started reading radio freefall by matthew jarpe, and really, the title of this blog is the best way i can think to describe it. it's intriguing and interesting, a rock 'n roll take on the future of the human race. it's smart, clever, and funny; it doesn't spoon-feed you, but allows you to connect the dots from our current state of affairs to the book's setting in 2031, giving you enough info to understand what's going on without spelling out everything in tedious exposition. i'm about 100 pages in, and i'm hooked. i'm not entirely sure where everything is going, and that's hard to find - something i love in a story, as long as the ending doesn't suck. if you like any and/or all of the things in the title, i suggest you give a try...

I Can't Even BEGIN To Interpret This...

there were a lot of bizarre situations in my dreams last night, including (but not limited to) me playing tennis - something i haven't done since high school, and then not competitively or even seriously - and winning large amounts loose jewels (mostly emeralds, sapphires, and rubies) for said tennis playing, dancing on the beach and tossing some of the aforementioned stones into the water, and dressing up as a vegas showgirl for a photo shoot. all this pales in comparison to the oddest and most inexplicable part of the dream. normally, it's pretty easy for me to figure out what's going on in my dreams; i can connect them to events or emotions in my life, or things i've recently seen or heard. but this... i got nothing. SO random. and so oddly specific. here it is:

i was wandering through the woods taking photos, and then decided to head back to my car. when i was almost there, a policeman/security officer type person in a dark uniform rode up on the back of a clydesdale stallion (although i referred to it as a lippizaner), holding a golden retriever puppy. (only he wasn't really puppy, he was just young, about 2 years old. see? oddly specific.) the retriever started singing the first line to queen's "somebody to love" and the horse joined in on the word "love." then the horse repeated the line. i took a picture of them as they trotted past, and was very impressed with the animals' singing voices, though disappointed that they didn't know more of the song.

yep. and i didn't even eat anything before bedtime, so i have no idea where any of that came from. anyone got any ideas? 'cause i've got nothing...

"Legs Time! Everybody Get Your Legs!"

"elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only."

so go the midnight ramblings of the mild-mannered adam. his wife karen has started recording his randomness and sharing with the world. it is absolutely HYSTERICAL and you should go check out their site. "do you like what you see? well, bloody look harder. strain your eyes!"

Yep, This Is My New Theme Song...

(courtesy of jonathan vick.)

Happy Voodoo Day!

many, many years ago, john and i created a holiday. we named it "voodoo day," but please don't ask me why, because i haven't the foggiest. neither of us is big on christmas, and all the festivities surrounding it, and all the duties to friends and families during the time... they wear us out. they wear everyone out, really. you spend so much time prepping and planning and decorating and cooking and catering to everyone else that all you really want to do a few days after christmas is curl up in a ball and sleep the day away. that is the principle behind voodoo day. it's a day - smack dab in the middle of christmas and new year's - that is not about other people. it's about you. to properly celebrate voodoo day, you don't buy gifts for others; you buy something nice for you. you do something indulgent for yourself. go get a massage, find a fabulous pair of shoes, get a mani-pedi, listen to your favorite cd even though everyone else hates it. whatever. doesn't matter what you do, as long as you take a moment to enjoy something for yourself, not for anyone else. so happy voodoo day, all!! may you enjoy your self-indulgent moment, and get back a little bit of energy that the holidays have stolen.

Is It Weird That I Feel Bad?

caught (what is presumably) mouse #3 and set him outside. i clearly can't leave them in my house to run amok when i'm away (amok, amok, amok!), but i feel awful for exiling them to the frozen tundra that is the outside world. i worry that they won't find a decent place for shelter or enough food - what the hell is wrong with me? they're field mice - they know how to survive outside, right? but what if they're little, and were born inside... will their instincts still kick in so they can find food and shelter? or will they freeze their little tails off? i'll feel terrible if i went through all the trouble of trapping them and setting them free just to give them a death sentence outside. i think i need help... or a higher dosage of zoloft...

Mad As a Box of Frogs

if you haven't yet scene syfy's "alice," you should really do yourself a favor and watch it - especially if you saw and enjoyed "tin man" from a few years ago. (i watched it on youtube here, and i'm sure you can find it on hulu or elsewhere.)  go watch the show - enjoy, among other things, matt frewer (taggart from "eureka") as the "mad as a box of frogs" (my new favorite phrase) white knight, colm meany's slightly-witless-but-not-a-complete-cuckolded-idiot king of hearts, and all the fun associations you can draw between what you remember about the book and original movie and this version of wonderland. and then there's the end bit...

It's That Time Again, Kids!

time to buy the celebratory birthday shoe! and before anyone scoffs, i give you this disclaimer: look, i don't expect much for my birthday, because they usually kinda suck. birthday plans? yeah, those usually go right in the toilet. major illnesses/injuries seem happen on or around the day, so that i can't do something if i actually had something to do. so i have scaled back my expectations for my birthday. i get to buy myself a fabulous pair of shoes to wear on the day, and i get to eat at benihana. that's all i ask to make me happy.  so, back to the shoes...  i have some front-runners from a trip to off-broadway shoes the other day (and the cutest bag... i really adore it), but haven't yet scoped out dsw. maybe tomorrow night or saturday. ok, on with the parade of possibilities. and remember, comments and suggestions are welcomed, as always. 

the first two have a similar vibe, both d'orsay with stone embelishment...

yes, yes, these are ridiculous, but they were so sparkly i had to try them on. (shut up, here's my girl card...)

these are the ones i like best, but with 4 and 1/2 inch heels - let's just say i'm not exactly 23 anymore, and neither are the joints.  i noticed i really swish when walking, hips all over the place.... but they're just so darned cute!

i think, though, that it'll come down to the purple shoe. somehow, by some error of judgement, i do not have a pair of purple shoes. this must be remedied. now, the first pair are sweet and fairly practical - i can easily wear those again, no problem.  the second pair is a bit more... froofy and over the top and fun...

you know, i think it's the rock-n-roll back zipper that is then covered demurely with an ultra-femme bow.  just sayin...

ok, thoughts, comments, likes, dislikes, etc.?

What, No YouTube Page Yet?

there's a church just down the street from jon's apartment complex. i noticed as we passed by that the notice board in front read, "follow us on twitter! sunday service 10:00". i remarked that this seemed odd to me - jon hadn't noticed the sign, though, so we didn't explore the topic. however, after taking me to the airport, he did see the sign and the following text conversation (which spanned a couple days, in between other discussions) took place:

j: what if we were at this church down the road, and the priest says, "let's bow our heads. let us pray." and he pulls out his cell phone and says as he types, "weeeee aaaaaarre praaaaaayyiiiiiing."

k: i was wondering how that works. i mean, do they put up all the important parts of the sermon, or just things like, "bingo on wednesday"?

j: "taaaaakinnnng up offffferrrrrring platesssssss"

k: lol. "paaarrrrishioneerrrrs cheeeapskaaaaaates this weeeeeeeek"

j: haha. "baaaaptiismmm waaas a suuccessss."

k: "fiiiiivve peeeeeople laaaaaate. dooooooonnn't lettt this be yooooouuu nexxxxxt weeeeek"

j: "baaabiieeeeess suuuckkk duuuuuring serrrrrmon. loooove, faaaaaaather jooooones."

k: hilarious!

j: have we worn this out?

k: probably, but it's still making me giggle....

j: "pleeeeeeaaaase doooo not maaaaake chaaaaange in the offerrrrring plate. thanks broootherrr phiillll."

k: too funny! "iiiit's caaaaalled a crrrryyyy rooooom for a reeaaason - thaaaat's where the cryyyyying braaats goooo..."

j: (whispers as he types) pleeeeaase god, heeeelp usssss. this orrrrganissst is the reason baaaaabiiiies cryyyyyy!"

ok, so maybe that was all way more entertaining to us than to anyone else, but it's totally a good point - apparently my aunt's church is on facebook... why, exactly? don't you have a bulletin for that? it just seems kinds odd...

Quote of (Quite Probably) the Month

text from john last week:

"a lesson that only needs to be learned once: never make a hot pepper sandwich and then scratch your balls."

*don't worry - john and both his balls have fully recovered.

Just Let Me Have My Delusions, Please

actual text conversation between me and john mario last friday night:

me: this is a new experience - watching old people dance the electric slide to "mustang sally." at the american legion. that's right - i'm living up my friday night!

john: wow, not quite like teh friday nights we had 10 years ago, huh?

me: right? and i'm having fun. oi. please don't mention this to anyone. i don't want to sound as sad as i've apparently become... :)

john: dear, i'm off this weekend. right this moment i am removing bits of adhesive from my living room wall. party on.

me: excellent. we are sad together.

john: and apparently sad apart as well.

john: the only possible thing more sad than what i am doing right now is that an hour ago, at work, i was looking forward to it.

me: yeah... let's not share this with anyone... we have reps to uphold.

john: i hate to tell you this, dear, but these ARE our reps.

me: yeah... i just wanted to hold onto the illusion...

*sigh* it's so sad being old...

It's The Little Things

i just spent the most amazing week with jon in alabama (yes, kids, i know - but it's not like the deliverance-type images you're conjuring in your heads). seriously amazing. we didn't do anything special really, just spent the week doing every-day-life stuff: driving around, visiting with friends, wandering around the beach for a bit, renting movies, and the like. and i wouldn't have changed a minute of it. everything was so... easy. like we've lived together for ages and already developed routines, and just fell back into them. so obviously, we work really well together - we have similar interests and spiritual beliefs, we both believe family is important, we are very compatible physically (and not just that, gutter-dwellers, but also things like kissing, hand-holding, lounging on the couch together - don't get me wrong, though, there are no complaints in any area...). but sometimes it's the little things that assure me that this will work. like the following conversation, which took place on the walk back to the car after lunch at a beach-side restaurant.

j: orange beach is celebrating their 25th anniversary, so there are lots of activities and things going on this week.

k: very cool.

j: and every place is celebrating. you know when we went to my store and i ran in to get my check? they had cupcakes and drinks and stuff out for the customers for the anniversary.

k: nice!

(pause)

k: wait, there were cupcakes and you didn't bring me one?

j: well, i didn't know you'd want one.

k: um, i pretty much always want cake. just for future reference.

j: duly noted. cake good.

k: unless it's chocolate cake.

j: it WAS chocolate.

(pause)

j: you don't like chocolate?? what's wrong with you?

k: no - i just don't like chocolate-flavored stuff. ice cream and cake and things. it doesn't taste like chocolate to me.

j: (nods) it's like watermelon candy.

k: what?

j: watermelon candy. if i gave you a piece of candy, you could put it in your mouth and immediately say, "hey, that's watermelon!" but if you then took a bite of an actual watermelon, they taste nothing alike.

k: you're so right! why do we call it watermelon flavor then? grape flavoring's sorta the same thing.

j: and grape-scented stuff...

see? i realize a lifetime of conversations like these doesn't sound like the stuff dreams are made of, but really? i can't wait. :o)

Officially Counting Down...

yes, i know i'm a big fat dork. please shut up. it's just that i'm crazy excited, and clearly this excitement has robbed me of my senses temporarily. hopefully, i will be able to return you to your regularly scheduled karen shortly...

Why I Heart Edward Monkton

(and, sidebar: wow, have *i* been slacking... i haven't written a blog in over 2 months! and i know i've had internal monologues to share in that time. ah, well...)

"Thank God You're There, I Can Shut Up Now."

on tuesday, i was sent out on an errand to our accountants' office. i had to google map it, of course, since i only have a working knowlege of direction in an 5 mile radius from my home. i had to map it twice since it automatically sent me on I-95, and that is not a motorway i care to attempt at 9 in the morning. i set out, 2 different sets of directions in hand. i decided to go the "long way" (read: not I-95) and was doing pretty well until some asshat decided to drive into me leaving me with two options: collide with the idiot and likely (as we were going 60 mph) end up in a hospital or a morgue, or jerk the wheel hard to the right and take an exit for some random state highway. clearly, i chose to live, however i now had a problem. i was not on either of my projected paths, and while it would seem like an easy thing just to turn around and get back on the other road, yeah, that wasn't an option - there was no apparent entrance from this road. i was in springfield, which i'd been in a few times, but i had no CLUE how to get from where i was to where i was going. so i called my personal gps system - my mother.

if mom is in her office, she's generally at the computer, which means she can look up addresses and directions and what-not for me. luckily, she was, so she did. unluckily, however, my phone took this moment to die - and my charger cord was mysteriously not in the car anywhere. now i couldn't even call the office itself for directions. i was now officially lost. and late. fan-figgin-tastic. eventually, i found my way to 395, miraculously chose the right direction, and got to where i was going. but i was done. i stopped on the way home to buy a gps.

i went to best buy. when the guy in the area came up to ask me what i needed, i said, "i'm tired of getting lost in this stupid area and i need a gps. preferable a tomtom. here, this one is good." "don't you want to look at some of the others?" "nope, just give me this one, it's fine." "well, ok, if you know what you want..." 15 minutes later, i had my gps. the next day at work, i downloaded an "optional voice" for the tomtom - eddie izzard. this is by far the best 5 pounds i have ever spent. or probably ever will. some of the directions are straight-forward, of course, but others.... on the way home last night i was told, "bear left, monkey right," "go straight on, you fool!" and then to "take the second left" in his sexie voice. today, when i chose not to take the route it set up for me, eddie yelled, "turn around straight away! and stop pissing about!"

brilliant. no more getting lost, and eddie tells me where to go. i'm pretty sure this is going to stop me from wanting to kill people the next time i'm stuck in traffic.

What, What, WHAT??

c has just informed me - and i went to the website to confirm it - that steven page is "parting company" with the rest of the barenaked ladies. i don't know how to feel about this. i mean, obviously i'm kinda upset about it; but the rest of them are going back into the studio in a few months to record some new stuff, so that's good, right? but is steve going to be in orlando with everyone else when i see them next weekend? i hope so... and i'd like to think he'd like to do one more show with them before bowing out. eeks...

and is it wrong of me to be glad that if it's anyone, it's steve and not ed?