What Would Happen If Ray Bradbury, David Bowie, Ayn Rand, and Metallica Got Together and Made a Book

i have started reading radio freefall by matthew jarpe, and really, the title of this blog is the best way i can think to describe it. it's intriguing and interesting, a rock 'n roll take on the future of the human race. it's smart, clever, and funny; it doesn't spoon-feed you, but allows you to connect the dots from our current state of affairs to the book's setting in 2031, giving you enough info to understand what's going on without spelling out everything in tedious exposition. i'm about 100 pages in, and i'm hooked. i'm not entirely sure where everything is going, and that's hard to find - something i love in a story, as long as the ending doesn't suck. if you like any and/or all of the things in the title, i suggest you give a try...

Just In Case You Weren't Sure...

john called me last night and shared this story with me. it made me laugh quite a bit...

As I am going on holiday in Key West in a week, I went shopping for a new swim suit. I headed into my local homo clothing store and was browsing, when greeted by a friendly German middle aged salesman. He held up a pair of trunks and with heavy accent said “These are nice. The wee-wee goes here in the front, the bum goes in the back, and everyone is happy.” Thank you, Mr.German Shopkeep for explaining the mystifying logistics of the men’s swim suit. I mean really, I have worn pants before, and I think I can maneuver a square piece of fabric with two leg holes without further instruction.

To Put it in Perspective...

germany says, "heißen sie willkommen zu 1883!"

the UK says, "welcome to 1911!"

france says, "accueillir à 1930!"

canada says, "bienvenue and welcome to 1961!"

australia says, "welcome to 1975!"

look, i get that americans kind of suck when it comes to "political traditions" and change. and i understand that this is a huge change that will take a while to implement. but look around, people. we need this change. unemployment is at a ridiculous level; and more importantly, a lot of people who have jobs (hi, america, my name is karen) only have part-time status - usually at more than one place - or work for a company that can't afford or doesn't offer health care for their employees. and seriously, this is not some crazy new radical idea. it's been in place in other countries - SUCCESSFULLY - for years. decades. even centuries, in some cases. bottom line is it works. and most importantly: PLEASE inform yourself with real facts, figures, and news about this bill. do not watch fox news and call this truth. do the research, find out the actual truth, and then if you still disagree, fine. but do so intelligently, instead of using the latest catch-phrase about what's "really going on" or how evil the supporters of this are.

ok, i'm down, and putting the soapbox away now...

The Impact of an Amazing Teacher

mrs. buchman (pronounced "bookman") was my fifth grade home-room teacher. i also danced at the same studio as her daughter, so i knew who she was before i had her, even though i always viewed her as "teacher" before "friend's mother." mrs. buchman was awesome. she knew how to make boring stuff fun - or at least less boring - knew how to keep us interested, and knew when we needed a break. she loved what she did, and she loved each and every one of us even when we were being difficult. and she "got" us. fifth and sixth grade are extremely tricky years, and i'd never be able to handle teaching those grades full-time. (i know people think i'm crazy for teaching high school, but i think elementary school is way harder to deal with. but i digress. as usual.) anyway, my point here is that mrs. buchman rocked. today, i got a friend request on facebook from "carolyn buchman." it actually took me a second, because of course when you're 11, you don't really think about your teachers having first names. once i realized it was my mrs. buchman i actually got really excited, and flattered that she'd remembered me and found me on facebook and wanted to touch base with me. she's one of the teachers that truly inspired me and made me realize how much a teacher could do for her students - that it wasn't just classwork and bookwork, but that you could teach life lessons and help students learn about themselves. i only hope that a former student of mine will someday feel that way about me.

Better Living Through Chemistry (Whether I Like It Or Not)

i've mentioned before how much i hate being dependent on meds, so i won't go into to that again. apparently the big ball of suck that is my current state of life is taking its toll on my body. i've started having chest pains, trouble breathing, and cluster headaches. i live with panic disorder; it runs in my family. and i understand that these things are textbook symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks, but it's never manifested this way in me before. i was also getting all ragey and angry, and that's not something i've ever done, no matter what level of anxiety or depression i've been at. so i went to the doctor, just to make sure there wasn't anything seriously wrong. after checking me out thoroughly and talking to me, she agreed that it was probably just anxiety in super-strength form. so she prescribed me some xanax to "take off the edge". i used to always have an emergency stash around in case i needed it - i think i went through 30 pills in about a year. because i hate drug reliance, i used it only when i couldn't function. but i've been out of the stash for a long long time (because thankfully i haven't needed to refill). so i had to start taking 2 to 4 half-pills a day just to keep functioning, which is more than i've ever taken before. i only had to take one half-pill yesterday, but then it was a lazy, gorgeous saturday that included a massage and a cupcake, so i expect that rage and pain will return when i have to deal with kids and parents and my assistant. so we'll see. surely the suck has to stop soon, or at least lessen...

Thank You For Being a Friend...

conversation with a 6-year-old last friday:

child: i'm going to oma's [his grandmother] this weekend!
me: cool! what are you going to do there?
child: oh, i usually chase the cats. but there's just one now.
me: yeah? what's its name?
child: blanche. she's still alive! the other one died, though. she was old.
me: what was her name?
child: rose.
me: [stifling laughter] of course it was. did she have another cat named dorothy?
child: nope. [pause while he tilts his head at me.] but she has a dog named dorothy!
me: [breaking into giggles] of COURSE she does! have fun with 'the girls'!

hilarious....

Quote of the Day

via amy, who is an elementary music teacher:

from kindergarten... upon hearing that we'd be singing/ reading the book "Puff the Magic Dragon" again, little girl says to her neighbor... Puff the Magic Dragon! That's my JAM!

pure awesomeness.

Apparently My Fortune Cookie Wants Me To Be a Vegas Showgirl

fortune cookie say: "do not lose sight of your childhood dreams."

(true story: my mother's reaction to learning that her 5-year-old wanted to be a vegas showgirl went like this... mom: why is that? me: because i'd get to dance all day and wear sparkly costumes. mom: um, ok... i really can't argue with that. one of the many reasons why my mother rocks...)

I Am an EXCELLENT Influence!

my mom came to visit me this weekend (something that was very much appreciated given my current state of being), and we did a little bit of shopping. we headed to the outlets because mom was on a quest to find water-proof boots that she could use when slogging down the driveway and digging the car out and things. we went to a few places, checked out different types of shoes, and i opened her eyes to the simple irrefutable truth that cute shoes (and cute underwear too, actually) can make any icky day a little bit brighter. so mom went home with black and white houndstooth patterned rain boots, two very cute pairs of chucks, some sparkly sandals, and two pairs of fun flats. MAN, i'm good... spreading joy through fun footwear - that should be my new motto! hmmmmm...

addendum: since john is apparently "internetally challenged," he asked me to add his comments below:

A. You should never let driveway slogging dictate your choice of footwear.

B. Chucks?? Awesome. I love you both just a little bit more.

I Can't Even BEGIN To Interpret This...

there were a lot of bizarre situations in my dreams last night, including (but not limited to) me playing tennis - something i haven't done since high school, and then not competitively or even seriously - and winning large amounts loose jewels (mostly emeralds, sapphires, and rubies) for said tennis playing, dancing on the beach and tossing some of the aforementioned stones into the water, and dressing up as a vegas showgirl for a photo shoot. all this pales in comparison to the oddest and most inexplicable part of the dream. normally, it's pretty easy for me to figure out what's going on in my dreams; i can connect them to events or emotions in my life, or things i've recently seen or heard. but this... i got nothing. SO random. and so oddly specific. here it is:

i was wandering through the woods taking photos, and then decided to head back to my car. when i was almost there, a policeman/security officer type person in a dark uniform rode up on the back of a clydesdale stallion (although i referred to it as a lippizaner), holding a golden retriever puppy. (only he wasn't really puppy, he was just young, about 2 years old. see? oddly specific.) the retriever started singing the first line to queen's "somebody to love" and the horse joined in on the word "love." then the horse repeated the line. i took a picture of them as they trotted past, and was very impressed with the animals' singing voices, though disappointed that they didn't know more of the song.

yep. and i didn't even eat anything before bedtime, so i have no idea where any of that came from. anyone got any ideas? 'cause i've got nothing...