But What Am I Going To Wear?

i'm not sure if the following story makes a statement about the kind of person i am, that c is, or about our friendship in general... (possibly all of the above.)

c called me earlier this evening and said, "ok, so just be aware, you and i are going to slovakia.  possibly soon."  my first question was, "when are we going?" the second, "what's the weather like?" which naturally led to, "what should i pack?" and then, "how am i affording this?" not until about 8 or 9 on the question list did i finally come up with "wait, WHY are we going to slovakia?"  nope, didn't even crack the top 5 in the List of Pertinent Information about taking a trip half-way around the world to places i've never been and don't speak even the slightest bit of the language. 

i have priorities, it just seems as though they're in a slightly different order from the rest of the world...

Just Hand Me the Green Sippy Cup And No One Gets Hurt

this past weekend i went to orlando for a little r & r, some bnl, and a few other initials. the flight i found took me up to nyc before heading down to florida - because clearly, it's cheaper to take 2 flights instead of one and head north before going south - but should have been fairly easy. flight at 12:50, an hour layover at jfk, then into orlando at 5:40. yeah, i should know better. i found bwi, parked out in the long-term lot, and made it to my flight on time. i boarded the plane and we started toward the runway. then we sat there. and sat there. finally the captain came on, appologized, and explained that jfk was "regulating the volume of planes in and out of the airport," and we'd be sitting on the tarmac for another 50 minutes till we were cleared to leave. fantastic. then later in the flight, we were instructed to go into a holding pattern over atlantic city. when we finally touched down, and i made my way to the terminal (just 2 minutes before my next flight was scheduled to leave), i found out that it had actually left early. lovely. ok, no problem, just have to find the next flight. which wasn't till 8:30 that night. it was the only other flight from jfk to mco. so eventually they found me a flight to boston, which then connected with a flight to orlando. fine. then the flight to boston was delayed. when i got to boston, i had to switch airlines, and therefore terminals. wonderful. seriously, i must have walked over a mile - and quickly - to get to the delta flight. there were no trams, so i had to hoof it through corridor after corridor, down an escalator, and to another terminal, where i had to go through security again. at this point, it's 7:05 and my flight is set to leave at 7:20. and of course they have to look through my bag. "i'm never making my flight," i said wearily to the nice man who had to shake down my luggage. "what time?" he asked. i told him. "no problem, just head down that escalator and it'll be straight ahead. good! down the escalator, check. then.... not so much. three more long corridors (two of which had people-movers that were broken) up another escalator, then down to the end of the terminal to get to the gate. i was the next to last person to get on before the aircraft doors were shut. luckily we had an extremely entertaining old queen of a flight attendant that made me laugh. plus, my card wouldn't go through when i tried to pay for a fruit and cheese tray (i hadn't been able to eat since noon-ish), so he gave it to me for free. when i finally got to orlando, and finally got to rob's car, he handed me a green sippy cup (well, a sports bottle) full of gentleman jack and coke. and that, dear reader, is a good friend.

"Thank God You're There, I Can Shut Up Now."

on tuesday, i was sent out on an errand to our accountants' office. i had to google map it, of course, since i only have a working knowlege of direction in an 5 mile radius from my home. i had to map it twice since it automatically sent me on I-95, and that is not a motorway i care to attempt at 9 in the morning. i set out, 2 different sets of directions in hand. i decided to go the "long way" (read: not I-95) and was doing pretty well until some asshat decided to drive into me leaving me with two options: collide with the idiot and likely (as we were going 60 mph) end up in a hospital or a morgue, or jerk the wheel hard to the right and take an exit for some random state highway. clearly, i chose to live, however i now had a problem. i was not on either of my projected paths, and while it would seem like an easy thing just to turn around and get back on the other road, yeah, that wasn't an option - there was no apparent entrance from this road. i was in springfield, which i'd been in a few times, but i had no CLUE how to get from where i was to where i was going. so i called my personal gps system - my mother.

if mom is in her office, she's generally at the computer, which means she can look up addresses and directions and what-not for me. luckily, she was, so she did. unluckily, however, my phone took this moment to die - and my charger cord was mysteriously not in the car anywhere. now i couldn't even call the office itself for directions. i was now officially lost. and late. fan-figgin-tastic. eventually, i found my way to 395, miraculously chose the right direction, and got to where i was going. but i was done. i stopped on the way home to buy a gps.

i went to best buy. when the guy in the area came up to ask me what i needed, i said, "i'm tired of getting lost in this stupid area and i need a gps. preferable a tomtom. here, this one is good." "don't you want to look at some of the others?" "nope, just give me this one, it's fine." "well, ok, if you know what you want..." 15 minutes later, i had my gps. the next day at work, i downloaded an "optional voice" for the tomtom - eddie izzard. this is by far the best 5 pounds i have ever spent. or probably ever will. some of the directions are straight-forward, of course, but others.... on the way home last night i was told, "bear left, monkey right," "go straight on, you fool!" and then to "take the second left" in his sexie voice. today, when i chose not to take the route it set up for me, eddie yelled, "turn around straight away! and stop pissing about!"

brilliant. no more getting lost, and eddie tells me where to go. i'm pretty sure this is going to stop me from wanting to kill people the next time i'm stuck in traffic.

What, What, WHAT??

c has just informed me - and i went to the website to confirm it - that steven page is "parting company" with the rest of the barenaked ladies. i don't know how to feel about this. i mean, obviously i'm kinda upset about it; but the rest of them are going back into the studio in a few months to record some new stuff, so that's good, right? but is steve going to be in orlando with everyone else when i see them next weekend? i hope so... and i'd like to think he'd like to do one more show with them before bowing out. eeks...

and is it wrong of me to be glad that if it's anyone, it's steve and not ed?

Do I Really Have To Graduate, Or Can I Just Stay Here?

while listening to o-rock's online station (which is the only way you can listen to the good music now, since the programming jerks decided to make it another generic "we play everything" station), the song "i love college" by asher roth came on. i am thoroughly amused by this song. lyrics are here, and the video is just below. lyrical highlights (at least in my book):

i wanna go to college for the rest of my life

sip banker's club and drink miller lite

on thirsty thursday and tuesday night ice

and i can get pizza a dollar a slice

i miss dollar-a-slice pizza. not so much the other stuff, but it's still a really amusing song...

What Exactly Goes Into Making Snot?

where is all this snot coming from? seriously, if we go by sheer volume from the last, say, five hours, i should have dropped at least 7-10 pounds. and it can only come from my head right? there's a finite amount of space in there - certainly not enough room to house the gallons of ickiness pouring out through my nose and watering from my eyes. i don't understand. and why can't the rest of my body work this efficiently? because it's clearly doing an excellent job of cranking out buckets of grossness around the clock. ick. just... ick.

i'm not even going to get started on the particular shade of magenta my nose is at the moment...

Life is a Mix Tape, Part 3: The Singles

"there are millions of songs in the world, and millions of ways to connect them into mixes. making the connections is part of the fun of being a fan." -rob sheffield

delving again into my musical memories... this time i'm posting songs that remind me of particular mix tapes/cd's/playlists and what went on around them.

4 "right here, right now" by jesus jones: this was on a random mix tape i made from the radio - you know, where you sat by your radio/tape deck, just waiting for one of your favorite songs to come on so you could hit "record".... and hoping the dj didn't talk over any of the good parts? i rediscovered this tape in college, just before we took arkansas bear on the road. not knowing what was on it (it was only labeled "fun and 80's"), i took it with us on the trip. at some point we popped the tape into the university van we were driving and had a great time singing and laughing and discussing the songs on the tape. this song was on that tape - and not the crappy radio edit either, the actual album version. for some unknown reason, some record label jerk apparently decided that they needed to shave another 15 seconds from an already-barely-three-minute-song and take out a small guitar solo. there are also slight variances in the backing beats - i'm not sure what they are exactly, but i can recognize the difference. i caught this particular version one late night (or early morning) when i was sick and couldn't sleep. i was downstairs in the rocking chair listening to the radio when this came on and i hit "record". it was the first time i'd heard this version, and it was somehow better than the normally-heard-on-the-radio version.

4 "tell me lies" by fleetwood mac: this song was actually not on the tape, but the radio dj had put this on immediately following "right here, right now." so although i pressed stop before the song really started, i still got the first 4 notes of this song - and apparently i listened to this tape enough that this transition is indelibly inscribed on my brain; i didn't even realize this until just now, when i played jesus jones, and the opening notes to "tell me lies" immediately popped up in my head.

4"unchained melody" by the righteous brothers: this song was also on that mix tape, though i'm not really sure what possessed me to tape this, but i'm guessing it probably has something to do with the movie ghost and its soundtrack. (that's my story, anyway, and i'm sticking to it.) i reached to ff through this song (we're still on that theatre trip, remember?) because i didn't really like it, when my hand was slapped away by craig - who then, along with the rest of the boys in our van, proceeded to sing the worst, off-key, caterwauling rendition of this song ever. on purpose. i was crying with laughter (and probably a burst ear drum) by the time they finished.

4 "it's a sunshine day" by the brady bunch: the next couple of songs were on a tape labeled "for drama" - it was just a tape i kept a bunch of songs on that i was using for drama class. this one was for a group pantomime: me, amanda, amber, mistey, paul, mike i think, and there had to be another boy, but i don't remember (someone help me out here?) decided to be the brady kids and alice going out for a picnic. we packed up a station wagon, ate and played games, then drove back home. it was a pretty awesome pantomime, if i remember correctly. (and i think i do.)

4 "summer breeze" by seals & croft: this actually wasn't my song - i think it was amanda's for her solo pantomime, because i associate it with her for some reason. i must have enjoyed the song enough to put it on a tape. or maybe we all rehearsed together or something, it's hard to tell...

4 "thirteen o'clock" from the labyrinth soundtrack: i used this one for my solo pantomime - i was a magician putting on a show. i wish i could have found it to add to the playlist, because it really is an excellent piece of music, but alas, instrumental music seems hard to find on the interwebs. anyway, the piece is now imbedded in my brain with the music... i could probably still do (most) of the 3 minute routine i made up for that assignment...

4"land of make believe" from the blast! soundtrack: this (and the next one) was from a cd i made while at disney titled "happy stuff". this is probably my favorite piece from the show, because it's just pure fun. plus steve was entertaining, and it was hysterical to watch kit making fun of him behind his back and then not tell him what he was doing. (the version in the playlist below isn't from blast - so it's not quite as good, and shorter - but this way you get the idea.)

4"hit me with your best shot" by pat benetar: this reminds me of candace (well, clearly - it's pat benetar) and also of that same summer. cristi and i, along with candace, rhonda, or whoever else we could drag with us, would often head over to epcot after work. i'm not sure why this particular song - maybe we started singing it randomly or something?

4"walk like an egyptian" by the bangles: this is from a mix tape made from the radio when i was in elementary school(ish). i remember - i'm thinking third grade, but i'm not sure - either amber or dawn bringing their portable boombox (and yes, they were called boomboxes, shush) and we would listen to it at recess. we were obsessed with this song for awhile, creating our own dances and music videos until we had to go back to class.

4 "kokomo" by the beach boys: same tape - i remember discovering the cocktail soundtrack... not such a great movie, but it's a kick-ass soundtrack. we even sang this in music class in the sixth grade, and i remember being confused about the words not being quite right. turns out the school board thought (probably correctly) that elementary school students shouldn't be singing about a "tropical contact high."

4"lollipop" by the chordettes: yep, still on the elementary-era tape. i have no idea why, but for some reason, this reminds me of being over at amy's house. did we sing this? dunno, but that's what pops in my head.

4 "the addams family theme" : in what? sixth grade? maybe fifth? somewhere in there, we did a jazz dance to this song that included big black boxes, white gloves, fushia sequins, and florescent polka-dotted bike shorts. awww, yeah.

4 "pennsylvania 65000" by the glen miller orchestra: also on the "for dance recitals" tape. this was earlier, i think... maybe fourth or fifth? not sure, but some of the footwork is still in my head, because it goes so well with the music.

4 "i alone" by live: this is from a high school mix tape, and always brings to mind the dreaded "who's on first" conversation when i called home from school to ask mom if i could go to a live concert that night with gretchen, her dad, and her brother. live wasn't very big yet so we went round and round till i finally shouted, "no! the name of the band is live! of course the concert is live, but that's their name!" mom and i still laugh about this.

4 "fat bottomed girls" by queen: i do love the queen, and forced them upon my friends. luckily, they mostly didn't mind. this song particularly reminds me of a gathering up at tricia's. me, trish, sarah, gretchen, possibly fedan, kenny, probably some of the boys - scott, bill, etc. - i don't remember exactly, but i remember having a cook out and a few of us ending up fully clothed in a pool.... clearly a result of said boys...

8 note: the quote at the beginning of this blog is from the book love is a mix tape by rob sheffield - a brilliant memoir of life and love by a contributing editor of rolling stone. it's lovely and sad and inspiring and funny and real, and why have you not gone out and bought it yet? go!

more mixed-tape goodness...

(i'm not sure why, but the playlist is not working for some reason... it WAS, but now it is not. so if you'd like to hear the songs, go here.)

Now, Honey, I'm Gonna Be Honest With You...

seriously, possibly one of the best tv moments EVER. i don't know gladys, but i wish i did. i must have watched this three times last night. i sent it to john, and he watched it when he got home from work midnight-ish. he laughed so hard he had to muffle himself with a pillow so he didn't wake the neighbors. yep, it's that funny. i had to make flair for in on facebook, so i did... and i'm thinking of making myself a t-shirt...

Because My Body Is Stupid and Not Letting Me Sleep...

25 random things... because i can't sleep yet. and really, don't you want to know me better? to understand me and my little nuances?

well, you should. jerk.

1. the ocd makes me get gas only in dollar amounts that end in .00 or .50.

2. unless i'm filling up my tank completely, in which case it doesn't matter. i don't know why.

3. i think i'd make an awesome radio personality.

4. i prefer my (hot) tea with milk and honey.

5. gerbera daisies are my favorite flowers.

6. i have a mole just above my right ankle. i think it's cute.

7. i really need to get my eyebrows waxed, but haven't found a good place around here yet.

8. i really need to meet people up here.

9. i don't know how to meet people anymore, unless i work with them or they're friends of friends. i'm too old to go out to random bars and just randomly strike up conversations with them...

10. i bought a black sequined skirt for $20 the other day.

11. i plan to wear it in vegas. don't know where, but hey, it's vegas, right? people wear all sorts of random things, and i can totally rock this skirt.

12. cirque's 'love' is quite possibly the best show i've ever seen in my life. if i could afford it, i'd completely fly to vegas just to see the show then fly back.

13. i really wish i had a dog, but i'd hate to leave him/her alone in the apartment all day by his/herself, so i don't have one.

14. i think gladys (of "i love jesus but i drink a little" fame on the ellen show) is an awesome person. i wish i knew her. i bet she'd be excellent at holiday parties.

15. i miss performing.

16. i was an insomniac in high school and part of college.

17. then i got mono, and that was the end of the insomnia, except for the very occasional bout.

18. i have a weird ocd thing with the phone. i hate calling people i don't know, even if i have a very legitimate reason to. this includes the doctor's office and other routine things. i will drive many miles out of my way to go and talk to these people so i don't have to call. or i make others call.

19. the zoloft, fortunately, helps with this, so i'm not a complete mess with the telephobia (i swear it really is called that) at the moment.

20. as a kid, i learned what the word "transmogrify" meant from calvin and hobbes. that cartoon strip was really educational...

21. i am a bibliophile; i have books everywhere in my apartment. in my bookcase, sure, but also in the living room, on the couch, on the dining room table, next to my bed, on the kitchen counter... they really are everywhere.

22. i can easily be in the middle of several books at once, and i only rarely get plot points confused. i look at it like switching the tv channel: sometimes you're in the mood for something serious, sometimes you like a bit of fluff; sometimes you want something new and different, sometimes it needs to be a classic that you already know by heart.

23. i am currently reading: mermaids in the basement, and the calvin and hobbes treasury there's treasure everywhere. i'm simultaneously (and at the same time) re-reading the princess bride, inkheart, and peter and the starcatchers.

24. i love going to the movies by myself.

25. the rain and thunderstorms are so soothing to me. i've slept through entire hurricanes without having any idea of the force of the storm.

Because C Asked Nicely

yesterday, in an attempt to find material for our new blogsite (more about that in a bit), i went looking for shoes - ridiculous, stupid shoes. i found many of these, but also found 4 fantastically on-sale pair of shoes that clearly needed to come home with me. so they did. hey, 4 pairs of name-brand shoes for $120? that's pretty awesome. sometimes it very helpful to live next to the country's largest outlet mall.

1. basic tan - i've been looking for a cute neutral pair for years now. these win.

2. navy d'orsay heels with pale pink polka dots - i have no blue heels, and these are just adorable. love the contrasting stripe on the instep!

3. black and gray satin reverse d'orsay heels - fantastic dressy shoes, and surprisingly comfy. i'm not usually a fan of the peep toe, but these were too cute to resist.

4. silver/gunmetal textured satin court shoes - ok, i realize these may seem a bit ridiculous or odd; but as someone who may possibly have been the mistress of an 18th century french king in a past life, i found myself completely drawn to them. plus, i totally pull these off. (i'm wearing them today with grey dress pants, and they look awesome.)

ahhh, a successful day of shoe-shopping... when i didn't mean to shop for shoes at all...