I'm not anywhere close to even entertaining the possibility of being slightly ready for anything. at all. I'm still a big fat mess. i'm easily a year (or more) from being emotionally stable enough to consider letting someone else in. and i'm pretty sure that even if i can, i'll have a much smaller range of motion, emotionally. not sure there's even much of a point, but i digress.
but he makes me smile and I am appreciative of that. i'm not sure if i'm capable of moving forward - i'm still not completely over my life imploding, i'm very distrustful of my ability to have a relationship without being left, and (clearly) have serious abandonment issues. so there's nowhere to go for me, and no way to know if i'll ever be able to do anything about how i feel. but i'm very thankful that there's someone who gets me, who makes me laugh, and makes me feel a little better about life. and i will enjoy that for as long as i can...
No comments:
Post a Comment