Just Hand Me the Green Sippy Cup And No One Gets Hurt

this past weekend i went to orlando for a little r & r, some bnl, and a few other initials. the flight i found took me up to nyc before heading down to florida - because clearly, it's cheaper to take 2 flights instead of one and head north before going south - but should have been fairly easy. flight at 12:50, an hour layover at jfk, then into orlando at 5:40. yeah, i should know better. i found bwi, parked out in the long-term lot, and made it to my flight on time. i boarded the plane and we started toward the runway. then we sat there. and sat there. finally the captain came on, appologized, and explained that jfk was "regulating the volume of planes in and out of the airport," and we'd be sitting on the tarmac for another 50 minutes till we were cleared to leave. fantastic. then later in the flight, we were instructed to go into a holding pattern over atlantic city. when we finally touched down, and i made my way to the terminal (just 2 minutes before my next flight was scheduled to leave), i found out that it had actually left early. lovely. ok, no problem, just have to find the next flight. which wasn't till 8:30 that night. it was the only other flight from jfk to mco. so eventually they found me a flight to boston, which then connected with a flight to orlando. fine. then the flight to boston was delayed. when i got to boston, i had to switch airlines, and therefore terminals. wonderful. seriously, i must have walked over a mile - and quickly - to get to the delta flight. there were no trams, so i had to hoof it through corridor after corridor, down an escalator, and to another terminal, where i had to go through security again. at this point, it's 7:05 and my flight is set to leave at 7:20. and of course they have to look through my bag. "i'm never making my flight," i said wearily to the nice man who had to shake down my luggage. "what time?" he asked. i told him. "no problem, just head down that escalator and it'll be straight ahead. good! down the escalator, check. then.... not so much. three more long corridors (two of which had people-movers that were broken) up another escalator, then down to the end of the terminal to get to the gate. i was the next to last person to get on before the aircraft doors were shut. luckily we had an extremely entertaining old queen of a flight attendant that made me laugh. plus, my card wouldn't go through when i tried to pay for a fruit and cheese tray (i hadn't been able to eat since noon-ish), so he gave it to me for free. when i finally got to orlando, and finally got to rob's car, he handed me a green sippy cup (well, a sports bottle) full of gentleman jack and coke. and that, dear reader, is a good friend.