Cherry Blossoms, Beavers, Frozen Yogurt, and Wax Figures

rob and i ventured into d.c. friday and saturday to wander about and take part in the cherry blossom festivities. as previously discussed, i sucked at life friday, but i was a bit better on saturday and much fun was had. high points of the weekend included, but were not limited to:

• discovering fro-zen-yo downtown; self-serve frozen yogurt and toppings for a very low price. and YUMMY!!
• fun photos at madame tussaud's
• a boat tour organizational mishap that led to an entertaining cruise around the potomac and anacostia rivers
• walking around the basin and taking pictures of the breathtaking sight that is the circle of cherry blossom trees in full bloom
• discovering ella's wood fire pizza and the deliciousness that was the "verdura" pizza
• meeting paddles the beaver (who reminds us all not to pick the cherry blossoms)
• 

Val and B.B. - A Tale of Two Intoxicating Women

from radio freefall: "the two women in the group... were as different from each other as valium and crystal meth."

i think this is an excellent description of me and charissa; both are very potent drugs, but they work in very different ways. when i sent this to c, she immediately and completely agreed. obviously (if you've ever met us, this will be easy to figure out) she is meth, and i am valium. i think it's part of why we work well as friends - we're opposites in a lot of ways, and we tend to balance each other out. almost immediately my nickname became "val", but meth proved harder to work with. "crystal" or "crys" just don't fit her, and are too close to her actual name anyway. "meth" is a stupid name for a person. c.m. (her actual initials, funnily enough) doesn't work either. so we started looking at street names for it. enter "black beauty" - a nickname for meth and the perfect (and very appropriate) one for her. we're using "b" or "b.b." for short. should i be concerned that a quote about drugs is what inspires our nicknames? i suppose it's just life imitating art, or in our case, art imitating life...

A Great Big Ball of Suck

this is what my life appears to be at the moment. b.b. (c's new nickname - i'll explain later) and i were discussing this today. i'm sick of it. i'm tired of hating life and being terminally depressed. it's exhausting, and it certainly can't be any fun for the people who have to be around me. i assumed that with rob visiting me for spring break, i'd be sufficiently excited and distracted, but not so. don't get me wrong - i love rob and i was very very glad to spend time with him. but i still had to literally force myself to do stuff. i still didn't want to do anything but hide in my bed and sleep. i spent much of friday apologizing for sucking at life (it was a particularly bad day for me), and i'm sure rob was tired of my continual sorry's, but i felt guilty. we should have been talking and laughing and being silly the whole time, and i just couldn't find it in me to do that. it's just ridiculous. i just wanted to spend time with one of my best friends and hang out and have fun, but it was torturous forcing myself to do so.

you know, people really shouldn't be able to screw up each other this way. and that goes all around, i guess. if girls in jon's past hadn't screwed with his head, maybe he would have been able to trust me and what we had, thereby avoiding effing me up royally. and, sadly, i'm really starting to believe that this is something that i'll just have to learn to live with. it's not like i'm ever going to be completely over him or anything - as i've said before, it can only be downhill after "love of your life" so what's the point? - so maybe this is a condition, like the fibro or panic disorder, that i'll just have to cope with. the pain may never go away, but hopefully my tolerance will go up - just like it has with my physical pain - and it'll be easier to live with. hopefully. i don't know. i don't know anything anymore. my world has been completely shattered, and i never knew it was possible for a single person to do that to me. bleagh. i'll stop kvetching now, i guess. i'm done, is all. just done.