Can't You Just Do Something Stupid? I'm Used To That...

just a note, first:  this is a departure for me, because i'm not a big "share my private life" sort of person. i mean, i'm not secretive or anything, but... you know,  i think it has something to do with how people relate to me as an empath - people tell me all sorts of things i don't need (or sometimes want) to know about what's going on in their lives.  it's like subconsciously they pick up that i'll understand them and their point of views, so if they feel confused or need to talk something through, they seem to automatically come to me.  but because people are generally self-concerned creatures (and i'm not being mean, it's just human nature), if i start talking about my issues, i don't get the same concern from others.  so i've just gotten used to keeping to myself, which is fine, and all-around easier as far as i'm concerned.  but this is not the point of this blog; this is just some exposition so you know where i'm coming from.  rob mentioned something yesterday that made me rethink some things about myself, and that's the point of this blog.  ok, tedious explanation over.

i've never been that girl that gets lots of showy attention from guys.  i don't know that i've ever (to this point anyway) really had any romance in my life - again, i just don't seem to inspire that from guys. and i'm generally ok with that... or, rather, i've gotten used to it.  i've never had it, so i really don't know what do with it.  and really, i'm not a need-to-be-pampered girly-girl; my best friends have always been guys, and i only have a handful of really good girl friends - and generally, these are girls who are a lot like me.  plus, the universe seems to think that i shouldn't be allowed to have relationships, so that's another thing i've (unfortunately) gotten used to.  so i've been completely thrown off lately because i suddenly have a boy who's romancing the hell out of me. i'm loving it, don't get me wrong, but after 32 years of not ever having it, it's totally throwing me for a loop. 

i was mentioning this to rob the other day, and said that i'm just not the type of girl that guys feel like showering with romance and sweetness. rob narrowed his eyes and said, "well, it's more that you inspire guys to run around doing stupid things to see if you're impressed by them, instead of seeing if you're impressed by flowers." i started to object, and then realized he was absolutely right.  as much as i might roll my eyes about it, i like my boys to be, well, boys.  so it makes sense that i would attract the guys whose idea of romancing or wooing someone is not necessarily hearts and candy.  and while i wouldn't be surprised if this one did something random and silly to get my attention (which he does from time to time), he spends a lot of time being sweet and honest and making me feel like the most desirable woman in the world.  which, again, is awesome, but.... different.  and taking some getting used to.  though i have to admit, it's pretty addictive...