Wieners!!!

made you giggle, didn't it? it's ok, you can admit it. i certainly did today; i was trying to heat up a couple of my oscar meyer 98% fat free turkey dogs, and so i looked at the instructions.

"microwave: place 1 wiener in bun; wrap in paper towel. microwave on HIGH 30 to 45 sec., or until wiener is heated through (160 F).
Grill: 98% fat free wieners contain very little fat so they will not brown like regular wieners. Grill wieners only 5 to 7 min. or just until heated through (160F) turning frequently."

okay, here's my question of the day: how do you take yourself so seriously that you use a semicolon in your heating instructions and expect the person doing the heating to check the temperature, and still refer to it as a "wiener" FIVE TIMES?? furthermore, do they actually think someone's going to take out a meat thermometer and test for doneness like they would a turkey? on a wiener? seriously? i couldn't even read through the instructions with a straight face, and i'm hardly the type to snicker when someone says "bone" or "balls".

because i'm a dork and an english teacher, i decided to look up the etymology of "wiener". it's a funny word; i wanted to know where the hell it came from. turns out it's german, and short for "wienerwurst" - literally "sausage from vienna". somewhere down the line we americans shortened it to wiener and from then on used it to sell hot dogs and nickname male appendages.

wiener, wiener, wiener, wiener. say it out loud, it'll make you laugh. go ahead, try it. i'll wait.


it was fun, wasn't it? and you giggled, too, i know it.