Now I Know How a Vampire's Victim Must Feel...

i saw two specialists this week: a doctor of infectious disease (and doesn't that just sound like a fun thing to devote your life to?) on tuesday, and a rheumatologist on thursday. after my appointment on thursday, i stopped by a quest diagnostic to have my labs taken care of. eight vials of blood later - yes, i said eight - i headed home to get ready for the ptsa's christmas party. needless to say, there wasn't a whole lot of "getting ready" to be had. i sat on the couch for 45 minutes trying not to fall asleep and then dragged my carcass to the tavern. (free food is a great incentive...)

the point of the labs is to rule out any other serious conditions. the infectious disease guy said that it's definitely an auto-immune problem and was glad i was seeing the rheumatologist. the rheumatologist (who i really like and instinctively trust - a key thing for me) said that he doesn't think it's lupus, and that if the other labs come back negative then it's probably fibromyalgia and we'll treat accordingly. of course i would have the disease that has unknown origins and is incurable because of that whole we-don't-know-what-causes-it thing. luckily, the symptoms are treatable, and hopefully the pain and fatigue will soon be down to a manageable level.

by the way... thanks for the concern and well-wishes. i really appreciate it. and i really am sorry for sometimes not getting back to you right away. it sucks not having the energy to go out with friends or leave the house or grade papers (well, i never seem to have energy for that...). i was supposed to go to a christmas dinner tonight and slept right through it. i didn't even hear my alarm go off. so irritating. but i'm not going to complain. i'm thanking.

and if i don't get back on here before christmas, have a happy and safe holiday! :o)

I Am SO Over This...

so i've been sick for almost two months now. we know i have remnants of an EBV virus that's making me feel not so pleasant, but that doesn't explain all my symptoms. the lab finally sent my doctor the rest of my results last week. apparently things were elevated that shouldn't be elevated. (i'd tell you what they are, because joanna told me the technical names, but i had no idea what she was talking about. i look intelligent, so people tend to explain things as if i was on their level. i have a degree in theatre, people, not medicine, and i teach english. oy)

anyway, what it all boils down to is that it's probably an auto-immune problem. this means that for whatever reason, my body is attacking itself instead of the things it should be attacking. i have an appointment with a rheumatologist to diagnose and/or treat me, but the first available appointment isn't until december 20. which means another month of this crap. today, i had to leave school early because i was falling asleep in first period. luckily the kids were taking a state-mandated writing exam, so no one noticed. elaine found people to cover my classes the rest of the day (i LOVE my department) and so i went home. i changed back into my jammies and promptly fell asleep around 10 this morning. i got up at 4. and i slept for nine and a half hours last night. and i'll probably go to bed around 7 or 8 tonight.

this is getting ridiculous

My Giggle For the Day

i stopped at walgreens before heading over to mobile mud for the cabaret party (at which i had too much fun and stayed out way too late - i should have been in bed hours ago.... but that's not my point). as i'm grabbing the few things i needed, "two out of three ain't bad" was playing over the speaker system. now, meatloaf is just not my cup of tea (or my dinner of choice for that matter) so i was very happy when it finally faded out to make way for a walgreens plug. (why are you plugging the store? we're already here.) as the song faded out, i heard someone continuing to sing the song over the fade. i glanced over to see who could possibly like this song enough to sing along to it, and found somebody's grandma - and i'm talking grandma, or maybe great-grandma... she was at least 80 or so, in her mid-calf flowered skirt and blue sweater set - rummaging through the cover girl lipsticks and singing cheerily along to the music while swaying slightly to the (fading) beat. it was just too cute. i can't imagine either of my grandmothers even knowing who meatloaf is, let alone bopping along to it. it made me smile - thought i'd share.


oh, also (for some strange reason) the song that came on after the commercial was "cult of personality". really random music for a drug store...

The Friends and Family Pre-Opening Events at IKEA

ah, ikea. i love this store. i have been buying cheap and innovative knick-knacks, lighting, and kitchen supplies there for years, ever since john and i discovered it on a shopping trip to pittsburgh. it's been painful living many, many miles and several states away from the nearest ikea. i have had to do my shopping while at home visiting family. what i couldn't pack into my suitcase would have to hang out at my parents' house until they made a road trip to see me and could load it up in the van.

but no more! happily, i now have an ikea in my backyard. it opens on wednesday. but thanks to james who is working there, i got to attend the pre-opening friends and family event - which means i got to shop at ikea TODAY (4 days before the rest of you can) and more importantly, i got to avoid the craziness that is sure to ensue next week when it opens. floridians are deprived. they have never been to an ikea store, being confined to using catalogs and online orders. they are excited. they are hungry for swedish design and meatballs in a cup. they will start camping out on monday (when they are allowed to start such things) so that they can be one of the first 100 in the store - these lucky ducks will get a free Poang chair (a value of $89 - please see below).


james, a.j., kristin, and i journeyed through the store. it was kristin's first time to an ikea, so it was especially exiting for her. we perused. we tested. we oohed. we ahhed. we took pictures. we bought stuff. 'twas a good time had by all.

so welcome, ikea, welcome to orlando. may you always be there for me when i need a new chair, silverware, or picture frame. i am glad you are here.

The Latest Fad - And I Swear I'm Not Making This Up...

the latest fad on our high school campus? no, it's not what the teens are wearing, it's something they're playing with. you may ask, is it a new cellphone, perhaps? nope. a new high-tech mp3 player? not even close. the newest craze - to the point that i have to tell them to put it away because they need to do work - is the rubik's cube.

what's that, you ask? have we somehow landed in 1983? (it wouldn't be hard to draw that conclusion given the footless tights, day-glow shirts, and ballet flats that all the girls are wearing, but i digress...) no, it seems that since these kids weren't alive in the 80's, they missed out on the entertaining and puzzling color cube. they have now found it, and it's the latest thing to see how long it takes you to solve it. they have races. i am not making this up. and these races are not being done by the nerdy social pariahs. oh, no, these are the normal, fairly popular, main-stream kids.

it just boggles my mind.

Things I Have Learned This Weekend:

1. in mandarin, the phonetic sound 'ma' means mother. however, if you drag it out an extra sylable and raise the pitch of your voice at the end, it means 'horse'. use and abuse with family members accordingly.

2. teachers take their beer pong seriously. it can become particularly vicious if you pit two super troopers against beth the bounty hunter and the devil. sitting several feet away is advised.

3. this virus is no joke. yesterday i had to carry in four - count 'em, four - bags of groceries, only one of which was even remotely weighty with canned goods. i quite literally had to sit down for almost ten minutes to recover enough to go out and get the 24-pack of water. after which i had to sit down next to the fridge in order to take them out of the plastic and refridgerate them. i didn't even have the energy to stand there and do it. ridiculous.

4. i like port wines. actually, i really really like port wines. particularly tawny ports. specifically aged tawny ports. i'm not a big wine drinker, and i'm really not a fan of red wines, so i wasn't thinking port would be something i'd like, but it turns out that if you throw in some brandy, it makes everything a little better. no, it makes everything a lot better.

5. also, port wines have to come from porto, portugal to officially be port; otherwise it's just a blended wine. just like real champagne has to come from the champagne region of france, or it's just a sparkling wine.

6. besides having no appetite to alert me when i'm hungry, i also seem to currently be without the ability to tell if i'm full. this means that if i sit down to eat, i don't know how much my body needs. i will eat whatever's in front of me until my stomach feels as though it's stretching like a balloon filled with lead. this (by the way) is not a comfortable feeling. i'm going to have to start weighing and measuring my food like a beauty pagent queen from here on out...

it's been a very educational weekend.

After 5 Weeks of Being Sick, I Have One Part of the Answer...

so the third round of blood tests have come back, and it turns out i have an EBV virus - one that is similar to mono. at least i have one answer; it explains all the fatigue and general ickiness. unfortunately, it doesn't explain some of the other symptoms and some of the other lab results, so the search is still on for added explanations. hey, on the bright side, this virus doesn't typically last more than four months... woo-hoo, just two and a half more months of crappiness to go...

on a very helpful note, the lab that my doctor's office sends their blood tests to has been screening all samples for an additional test - i have tested positive for it. problem is, the lab has not explained to the doctors what the test is for, or what that result means. i have been advised not to worry about it... yet. they'll let me know when they learn something...

Why I Am Visciously Jealous of Anyone Who Owns a Jeep Today:

it's freakin' gorgeous outside - perfect for driving around with the top and/or doors off...

sigh.

English 1 - Open-Book Quiz: Question 16

Please complete the "Quickwrite" on page 220 in your textbook.

Quickwrite: What is your most prized possesion? What is most important to you? If there was a fire and you only had time to get one thing out of your house, what would it be and why?

there were lots of garden-variety answers...

"I would save my photo album of all my friends and family."
"My family is most important to me, so I would make sure I had them first."
"I'd save my cat (dog, bird, etc.) first."

there were some sweet, sentimental answers...

"I would save my gold necklace that my grandma gave me because I don't get to see her very often."
"I would take the photo of me and my sister - we'll probably never be as happy as we were in that picture because our lives changed shortly after it was taken."
"It might sound weird, but my cellphone. My cousin gave it to me, and he died a few months later."
"My blankie. I've had it since I was a month old and just having it in my room makes me feel better. We've been through a lot together."

some were practical...

"I'd take my laptop, because first, it has all my pictures and music on it, and second, because it was expensive and my parents would kill me."
"I would grab my cell phone because that way I could call for help."

and then there were these two...

"I would make sure to save my dog because I love him. (But my most prized possesion is my PS2)"

...and my favorite...

"My most prized possesion is my Xbox. Without it, I wouldn't be able to play Halo 3, and then what would I do?"

well, at least he's honest...

Emmett Otter and His Pond-Side Friends

sometimes i am so caught up in the heat and humidity and swampiness of florida that i forget that nature can be beautiful - even here. i was reminded today as i walked past the pond in front of my apartment building.

there were my ducks, of course, haning out poolside and enjoying the day. (ok, they aren't actually MY ducks as i don't own them, or feed them, or shelter them in any way. but they always seemed pleased to see me, and when i call out my habitual "hello, duckers!", they bob their heads at me and the male usually squawks a cheerful response.)



in addition to the usual ducks, there was another with three little baby ducks. Mamma duck went for a walk with one of her kids while the other little duckers took a nap in a nearby bush. (they were little hams, too, waddling right past me and stopping to pose.)


and then, just for fun, there was a family of four otters playing about in the pond today. (actually one of them was tormenting one of the ducks by swimming under the water and scaring the shit out of it... it was pretty amusing, really.) they frolicked in the water, then frolicked on what used to be the base for a water fountain, then frolicked in the water some more. they were overall pretty darn adorable.














and last but not least was the blue heron hanging out in the sun as well.


i had a veritable menagerie outside my door today. it made me happy. just had to share... :o)

Show Choirs, Disco Boots, and Missing My Boys (St. Patty's Day 2007)

i am a dork. this is not a new development, but in case someone reading this is not yet privvy to this fact, i thought i'd point it out before i explain how i spent a chunk of saturday. so consider this paragraph "background info"; those of you who know me well can safely skip this part and go down to the second paragraph. it's ok - you won't miss anything. for the rest of you, yes, i am a dork, but my dorkdom is primarily focused in the theatre/musical/band/dance areas. i am currently working with the choir at school to choreograph a couple numbers for the spring concert, and the idea of maybe starting a show choir at school has been bandied about a bit. so it is with these thoughts in mind that amy (the choir diva) and i found ourselves at epcot, sitting in the america gardens theatre, watching the finals of the Showstoppers Show Choir Invitational Competition. yes, we are both big fat dorks, but we also wanted to get an idea of what we needed to think about before approaching our principal with this idea. (and we wanted see people who were even bigger dorks that we were - mission accomplished.)

mostly what we took away from the day was what NOT to do, and the certainty that we would NEVER make our kids do some of this stuff. we did come up with some ideas of what TO do, as well, but that mostly came from us, and not from what we witnessed on stage. first up were the top three girls' choirs, followed later in the afternoon by the top five soloists and the top five mixed choirs. what appalled me the most was the need to make these kids dance through every second of every song. the choreography had no place in most of the songs, and made no sense most of the time. also, these kids were drilled within inches of their lives, so that each of their movements were exact, finite, and perfect. which sounds good in theory, exept people don't really move like that, so they just looked like a team of well-programed robots spinning on stage. also, as far as i'm concerned the "cheerleader nod" and the "oh, i'm so surprised and cute at the same time" look have no place in theatre, dance, or especially show choir.

and i don't even know how to describe the abject horror amy and i experienced as we watched 40 white kids from the mid-west perform hip hop moves, which had clearly been taught to them by someone who was not only white, but had never met a minority or watched a dance or hip hop video in their life. it would be easier to describe if i could just attach a video of me re-enacting this heinous dance move, but alas, i do not have the technology to do so. so in order to convey the severity of the crime committed, i will write you a how-to. please just follow the simple instructions below, and you, too, may be jumped in any racially mixed area.

step one: stand up and move slightly away from your computer (far away enough not to cause damage, but close enough so that you can still read. if you are concerned about your lack of dance skills, you may want to print these instructions out and then go to large empty space void of people.) you may also want to inform any others in the room with you what it is you are doing so they do not think you have lost your mind or want to beat you up.

step two: place your feet shoulder width apart in a relaxed stance.

step three: form your hands into blades. press all your fingers and the thumb of each hand close together, and hold your wrists rigid so that your hand jut stiffly from your arms.

step four: bend your elbows at a forty-five degree angle, keeping your elbows tucked fairly close to your body throughout the following steps.

step five: lift your bent arms up and pulse them twice, so that your arms go up, down, up, down. you will do this twice - once to the left and once to the right.

step six: as you raise your arms to the left to begins your pumps (don't forget to keep those fingers locked together and those hands rigid), you will raise your left leg, bending at the knee. you will make two knee pumps that echo the movements of your arms.

step seven: repeat on the right side.

step eight: do this 4-count sequence twice, so that you have two pumps to the left, two to the right, two more to the left, and two more to the right.

step nine: as you execute the left pumps, say "what, what" as your hands and knee hit the "up" position.

step ten: throughout this eight-count routine, keep your chin up, eyes straight ahead, and smile so fully that your teeth and cheeks begin to ache.

step eleven: take yourself very, very seriously.

congratulations! you may now join an elite show choir from nebraska!

but again, at least we learned what NOT to do. and we also learned that if any of our multi-cultural kids ever came to one of these competions, we would definitely have to provide them with notebooks to write down all their snide comments so that the parents and fans around them wouldn't hear.

did i mention we suffered through one show choir doing "welcome to the jungle" wearing zebra-print dresses for the girls and red velour jackets with zebra collars for the boys? we did.

during the evening we decided to head out to pat o'briens at city walk for the st. patty's day festivities. i stopped at home between events and discovered that i had NO idea what i had done with my driver's lisence. it really should be in my purse, but it's not, so i had to be a big geek and use my passport in order get into pat o's. after waiting in a short line to get into the piano bar (which was definitely a fire hazard last night), we stood around awkwardly until we saw these three incredibly drunk blonde girls vacate the side of a table and then took their spots. (seriously? pace yourself: it's now 8 p.m.) and aside from the scary drunk amazon and her insecure, slutty friend pissing off the waitress and convincing her that we had odered all the drinks on the $250 bar tab and not their friends who had skipped out, we had fun. (especially after we talked to the manager and the waitress had the girls thrown out.)

this, however, was (i'm pretty sure) the first time i'd been back in the piano bar at this pat o's since everyone left me. I MISS MY BOYS. there, i said it. it made me kind of sad. and as much as i hate some of the songs they sing there ("friends in low places", anyone?), it was even worse without my drunken fools surrounding me and singing loudly and off-key in my ear. there was no bon to roll my eyes with. i didn't even have monica with me (the one person who still lives here), so when the piano player broke into "who dat?" in the middle of "when the saints go marching in", i was the pretty much the only person in the entire bar who knew what the hell was going on and was singing along. sigh. i had fun with amy and deb, and we were certainly entertained by the people around us, but it just wasn't the same. (when the hell are you people moving back here, huh?)

when the drunken tomfoolery of others ceased being entertaining, i headed home. john called me from ft. lauderdale in a slight panic, informing me that he had been drug to a "gay country bar". i didn't even know that was legal. apparently he was surrounded by gay men line dancing to (and this is the reason he called me) "wild, wild west". you remember "wild, wild west" from the eighties, right? "heading for the nineties, living in the wild, wild west"? i was not aware that it was a country song. or that it had a line dance, although if there's anything i learned while working on a cruise ship, it's that any song can have a line dance. (you probably didn't know that "hot, hot, hot" and "who let the dogs out?" have line dances, did you? they do. and unfortunately, i know them.) according to john, the only redeeming value to the place was that instead of the standard-issue gay-club disco ball, this place had four cowboy boots - heels backed together to face the four directions- covered in disco ball mirrors. i told him that the next time i come visit him i want to make sure we don't go there. he assured me that he would never again set foot in the place - he was too frightened by it. "besides," he added, "these boys are wearing cheap cowboy boots and gucci and perry ellis shirts. it just doesn't make sense in here."

so that was my st. patrick's day. it's a lengthy blog, i know, but hopefully the entertainment value of you dancing hip hop like a mid-westerner was enough to off-set my going on and on...